Tuesday, January 31, 2006
Profile Fun
The fun that can be had with single profiles on the internet.
The same portal that found us Mr. Cuba keeps spamming me with idiotic requests for forever love or hot steaming monkey sex that will totally blow my mind from bunches and bunches of hetero men on a daily basis.
Two particularly ridiculous ones I would like to share with you tonight (translated to English, of course), including my responses, for your amusement. Before I will start with this, I will have you know that this profile of mine states in BIG, BOLD LETTERS that 1. I am in a good relationship, and that WE BOTH are looking for bisexual people to have occasional fun with, and 2. that responses from hetero men addressing me directly will be completely disregarded. Actually, the letters for 2. are even BIGGER and BOLDER than the ones for 1.
I think straight men in need have difficulties reading. Enjoy.
Shy? Me? Ha! Here's my loving reply:
And, handicrafts...? Do I look like Martha or something??? But that's nothing yet... get a load of this:
Huh... end your drivel with an insult, why dontcha. Presumptuous asshole. I like your kind... you are entertaining me and The Fiancé to no end. Thank you for making me laugh so heartily.
The nerve...???
At any rate... of course we do not have a Latino "boyfriend" as stated in my reply, but we did call Mr. Cuba last night. He sounds very pleasant, but - weirdly enough - had trouble replying to The Fiancé in Spanish, talked in German with me instead. The Fiancé thinks this odd, for he knows no Cuban who doesn't proudly know and speak his native tongue, but this is something that doesn't throw me off too much. We set up a meeting for next Saturday at 8pm in the city, and I have to say I am very curious about this meeting. I'll keep you posted. :) Also on possible answers from the two assclowns above... lol. :)
The same portal that found us Mr. Cuba keeps spamming me with idiotic requests for forever love or hot steaming monkey sex that will totally blow my mind from bunches and bunches of hetero men on a daily basis.
Two particularly ridiculous ones I would like to share with you tonight (translated to English, of course), including my responses, for your amusement. Before I will start with this, I will have you know that this profile of mine states in BIG, BOLD LETTERS that 1. I am in a good relationship, and that WE BOTH are looking for bisexual people to have occasional fun with, and 2. that responses from hetero men addressing me directly will be completely disregarded. Actually, the letters for 2. are even BIGGER and BOLDER than the ones for 1.
I think straight men in need have difficulties reading. Enjoy.
Hello, I am Alex, and my horoscope says that 2006 is my year! I am trying to start it right away, and I am looking for YOU!!!
I can be enthusiastic about many things, and I like to do all kinds of things. Equally much I like just staying home, and I would like to spend these beautiful hours with the person that is special to me, relaxing, snuggling, cooking together, enjoying a glass of wine together, doing handicrafts, make plans, discuss, and many other things!
It would be wonderful to get to know someonw who is partner, best friend and partner in crime all in one person. If you think some of this applies to you, then don't be shy and mail be back!
Alex
Shy? Me? Ha! Here's my loving reply:
Dearest Alex...
...general advice for general living: before you send your next pointless standard mail ("I can be enthusiastic about many things, and I like to do all kinds of things" - hey! What a coincidence! Me too! We MUST be soulmates!) to people on the internet, make a point of reading their profile first!
If you would have done that, you would not have missed the little detail of "STRAIGHT MEN FUTILE", and also the not so unimportant information of "I love in a good and steady relationship with my fiancé, and together we are looking for a bisexual man or woman to share our bisexual fantasies with".
You mail does not sound like you are a bisexual, and interested in having sex with my man, while I am watching the two of you and masturbate.
Therefore: read before you bother people with your off-the-topic drivel.
Cheers!
And, handicrafts...? Do I look like Martha or something??? But that's nothing yet... get a load of this:
My first attempt at this! I don't really know how to start here, since we don't know each other. Well, some things you can read in my profile, but in addition you should know that I am also really humorous, funny, self-confident, open-minded and creative, and on top of that I can be a lot of fun! I am looking for an adventure/one night stand/relationship with a humorous, self-confident and open-minded woman who will complete me.
I really just want to feel someone's naked skin and want to express my phantasies freely - allowed is whatever pleases both sides.
Here are the 10 reasons why you should get into an adventurous relationship with me:
1. you are a woman
2. I am a young and good-looking man
3. I have just THE experience that you are missing with other men - believe me *wink*
4. my passion for pleasing women with my tongue is almost legendary
5. I do not have any taboos
6. you want to expand your horizon
7. you are done with the cookie-cutter sex you are so used to getting from your partner
8. you will finally count in the bedroom too, and want to be able to let go
9. you want to express your most intimate wishes, without having to compromise your standards
10. there is absolutely no reason for you not to do it
In case you were looking for a reason, just pick one and then let's do it.
So, did I awaken your interest?
If not, there is something seriously wrong with you. *smile*
Fanolino
Huh... end your drivel with an insult, why dontcha. Presumptuous asshole. I like your kind... you are entertaining me and The Fiancé to no end. Thank you for making me laugh so heartily.
Fanolino, my stud.
Oh, what convincing arguments you are serenading me with here... I am getting all wet here, just from reading alone...
Please allow me to list you 10 reasons of my own why I now have to wipe this wetness from my tears of laughter from my face:
1. I do not deal with illiterates. My profile states quite clearly that "WE are looking", and "STRAIGHT MEN FUTILE" - something that very obviously slipped your attention completely.
2. Self-proclaimed super-lovers like the one you seem to be make me smile in pity at you - at best.
3. You are insulting my intellect with your email bristing with typographic and grammatical errors - which brings us back to illiteracy and my profile. After all, according to it, I am "presuming a certain sophistication" with my applicants - which you very obviously do not have.
4. Speaking of experience: I am pretty sure that I have more of that than you could ever dream of, and that I have done things that you wouldn't be able to spell even with the aid of a dictionary. I understand that you may secretly hope to learn something from me, but sorry - I only share my abundance with men who can actually deal with it and are able to make use of it - like for instants my husband and our "boyfriend" - two true Latin Lovers.
5. Cookie cutter sex is non-existant in my bedroom, and the man hasn't been born yet who could exceed my husband in skill, creativity, and stamina. To even consider spending a night with you would be a definite regression on my part.
6. I cannot stand characters like you who assume that every woman who doesn't have sex with you, god's greatest gift to womankind, automatically must have a crappy sex life.
7. I am living my most intimate dreams very fully at the moment, thank you very much. You, on the other hand, are a nightmare.
8. My dildo is probably bigger and more exciting than your needle-dick - which is something I can read very clearly between the lines of your megalomaniac email.
9. If I'd show myself in the streets with your cute 5'6" self, people would think I am taking my lap doggy for a little walk. Look for something more along your eye level, while I am parading the streets with my two 6'2" Latino hunks, m'kay?
10. If you'd be the last man on Earth, I'd either become a full-time lesbian or completely celibate, and still have better sex with myself than I could ever have with you.
Oh... and what's seriously wrong with me? My spam filter, obviously.
The nerve...???
At any rate... of course we do not have a Latino "boyfriend" as stated in my reply, but we did call Mr. Cuba last night. He sounds very pleasant, but - weirdly enough - had trouble replying to The Fiancé in Spanish, talked in German with me instead. The Fiancé thinks this odd, for he knows no Cuban who doesn't proudly know and speak his native tongue, but this is something that doesn't throw me off too much. We set up a meeting for next Saturday at 8pm in the city, and I have to say I am very curious about this meeting. I'll keep you posted. :) Also on possible answers from the two assclowns above... lol. :)
Monday, January 30, 2006
Contact
Time to call Mr. Cuba... well, time for The Fiancé to call Mr. Cuba, that is. He has not replied to the Spanish email we have sent him, but later he apologized with the reason that he was working too much to have the time to respond yet.
When The Fiancé does the Spanish thing on the phone in a bit, I guess we'll see if dude's for real or not. I'll keep ya posted.
When The Fiancé does the Spanish thing on the phone in a bit, I guess we'll see if dude's for real or not. I'll keep ya posted.
Sunday, January 29, 2006
Don't read this, it's just another instance of feeling sorry for myself
Now I remember why I am so passionately against playing the lottery. For once I decided to play... and the disappointment of not having one single number right, and the jealousy of the people who sat there with excitement as they saw all their numbers on the screen is more than I can take in my current financial situation. The unfairness of it all. Why would somebody cash in on 1.7 million € for doing nothing more than randomly guessing 6 numbers? Where's the honesty in that? These sort of thoughts drive me crazy - though of course it would be more than fair if I were the one to have guessed the 6 correct numbers. After all, didn't I accumulate enough good karma to righteously win this by thinking of all the good things I could do for others with all the money, before thinking about all the neat things I'd do for ourselves?
Bleh, I say.
That said, I am rather senselessly depressed otherwise - and again. Or still. The reason? Impossible to pinpoint. Really, for a change, there are no reasons. I managed to distract myself over the weekend by spending a day skiing with one of my very best friends, playing some fistball, spending some family time, and enjoying this unexplainable horniness, which is still washing over me like a tsunami without end.
Is this just a way of my body to distract my mind? Is this why I am so relentlessly obsessing over getting another man into our bedroom and throwing myself into this lasciviousness I am currently going through, just to get my mind busy so I won't have to deal with whatever it is that is bothering me so?
What is it, though?
Two nights ago my grandfather was here again. Without much explanation, suffice it so say that whenever I am at my emotional worst my grandfather, who has died 14 years ago, appears in my dream and offers guidance and support. The setting is always different, the protagonists are always different, but my grandfather is there always, in all the detail my conscious mind could never remember, smiling his unforgettable smile, offering me advice, calming my raging emotions, and in the end I am always the 10-year-old girl barely reaching up to his chest, wrapping my arms around his big belly as I did so many times when he was still alive, and him tousling my hair tenderly with his large hands. When my tears start to soak his tummy and I am shaken with immense sobs is when I usually wake up, disoriented and grieving, yet strangely calmed and reassured - at least for the awakening day.
I am convinced that he does not just appear as a ghost of my neural paths and subconscious wishes. I am convinced that he is still with me, will always be, and offers me his nearness and his advice in a way he could not do when I was still a child and not in need.
That night's lesson?
"Everything can happen if you want it only badly enough."
Does this hold any meaning for how I currently feel, so unexplainably? And if so, how does it tie in?
Internet, I am feeling so out of sorts that I have actually held the phone number of a psychiatrist in my district in one hand, the phone in my trembling other. I did not call, of course. But I am starting to understand that no amount of thinking that I am all right, no amount of blogging about it, no amount of distraction strategies, and no amount of senseless crying spells will ever make me feel better. And the thing that bothers me most is the fact that I don't even know what the problem is in the first place, why I am constantly hoping something would happen to me, I would get seriously sick, something tragic would happen to the world en gros, or on the worse days creatively thinking about ways to most effectively hurt myself.
Interesting, how this blog turned from an ambitious work on self-discovery and journey to this pathetic whining spree of severe depression and the inability to help myself.
Why are you people still reading this???
Bleh, I say.
That said, I am rather senselessly depressed otherwise - and again. Or still. The reason? Impossible to pinpoint. Really, for a change, there are no reasons. I managed to distract myself over the weekend by spending a day skiing with one of my very best friends, playing some fistball, spending some family time, and enjoying this unexplainable horniness, which is still washing over me like a tsunami without end.
Is this just a way of my body to distract my mind? Is this why I am so relentlessly obsessing over getting another man into our bedroom and throwing myself into this lasciviousness I am currently going through, just to get my mind busy so I won't have to deal with whatever it is that is bothering me so?
What is it, though?
Two nights ago my grandfather was here again. Without much explanation, suffice it so say that whenever I am at my emotional worst my grandfather, who has died 14 years ago, appears in my dream and offers guidance and support. The setting is always different, the protagonists are always different, but my grandfather is there always, in all the detail my conscious mind could never remember, smiling his unforgettable smile, offering me advice, calming my raging emotions, and in the end I am always the 10-year-old girl barely reaching up to his chest, wrapping my arms around his big belly as I did so many times when he was still alive, and him tousling my hair tenderly with his large hands. When my tears start to soak his tummy and I am shaken with immense sobs is when I usually wake up, disoriented and grieving, yet strangely calmed and reassured - at least for the awakening day.
I am convinced that he does not just appear as a ghost of my neural paths and subconscious wishes. I am convinced that he is still with me, will always be, and offers me his nearness and his advice in a way he could not do when I was still a child and not in need.
That night's lesson?
"Everything can happen if you want it only badly enough."
Does this hold any meaning for how I currently feel, so unexplainably? And if so, how does it tie in?
Internet, I am feeling so out of sorts that I have actually held the phone number of a psychiatrist in my district in one hand, the phone in my trembling other. I did not call, of course. But I am starting to understand that no amount of thinking that I am all right, no amount of blogging about it, no amount of distraction strategies, and no amount of senseless crying spells will ever make me feel better. And the thing that bothers me most is the fact that I don't even know what the problem is in the first place, why I am constantly hoping something would happen to me, I would get seriously sick, something tragic would happen to the world en gros, or on the worse days creatively thinking about ways to most effectively hurt myself.
Interesting, how this blog turned from an ambitious work on self-discovery and journey to this pathetic whining spree of severe depression and the inability to help myself.
Why are you people still reading this???
Tuesday, January 24, 2006
moving on to the fun stuff...
Still no word from the offending parties. I have resorted to simply not giving a shit. Something that The Fiancé always likes to say is: "Deal with the consequences of your actions." This is certainly what they will have to deal with now. Get married, end up divorced, barge into my own special time - whatever. Seriously. Try to drug me as your only resort to convey information to the last person not in the know, and then dump it on me via chat and ask The Fiancé way afterwards "so, how did she take it?", and then stay away like a vampire from sunlight - deal with the consequences. And that's the last thing I am going to say about that.
The Fiancé and I seem to have recovered from the problems that they have caused between him and I as well, so at least I am not toying with the thought of creative suicide anymore for the moment.
To distract myself from this whole horror scenario, I am currently entertaining myself again with some guy who responded to our ad on the internet. Let me ask you, people: what's better than one hot Latino in your bed? That's right - TWO hot Latinos in your bed! This particular specimen is quite handsome, bisexual, and from Cuba. From the looks of him, and The Fiancé's first reaction, all I can say is hola senor, mi casa es tu casa... LOL!
Na, but seriously. I like this because a) he speaks Spanish and therefore we as a couple do not rely on my people skills to get anywhere and I can lean back and let The Fiancé do all the initiations of "getting to know each other", and b) my picky man didn't seem at all turned off the way he is by the usual type of guy that responds to our ad. I am curious to see if he will really initiate contact with this individual, and if so, if this will get us anywhere this time. It seems that whenever I am having the task to set up a meeting I chicken out at some point and just "forget" to email them back or to call them. The Fiancé is much more sociable, much more socially dependable, and much more open towards meeting new people in general. I guess my anxiety doesn't help us much here, and whenever The Fiancé waits for me to set up a meeting with somebody, I am disappointing him because I suck at meeting people and much rather spend my time "forgetting" that I even intended on meeting anybody in the first place.
Here in this case I could just let them do the talking, let The Fiancé do the figuring out if he's attracted to this person or not, and I can just lean back and be pretty, lol.
At any rate, this is distracting to a certain point, if nothing else, and I'll keep you posted on whether or not The Fiancé took the step and contacted Mr. Cuba. Cause - sincerely - one has to focus on the important matters in life, hasn't one...
The Fiancé and I seem to have recovered from the problems that they have caused between him and I as well, so at least I am not toying with the thought of creative suicide anymore for the moment.
To distract myself from this whole horror scenario, I am currently entertaining myself again with some guy who responded to our ad on the internet. Let me ask you, people: what's better than one hot Latino in your bed? That's right - TWO hot Latinos in your bed! This particular specimen is quite handsome, bisexual, and from Cuba. From the looks of him, and The Fiancé's first reaction, all I can say is hola senor, mi casa es tu casa... LOL!
Na, but seriously. I like this because a) he speaks Spanish and therefore we as a couple do not rely on my people skills to get anywhere and I can lean back and let The Fiancé do all the initiations of "getting to know each other", and b) my picky man didn't seem at all turned off the way he is by the usual type of guy that responds to our ad. I am curious to see if he will really initiate contact with this individual, and if so, if this will get us anywhere this time. It seems that whenever I am having the task to set up a meeting I chicken out at some point and just "forget" to email them back or to call them. The Fiancé is much more sociable, much more socially dependable, and much more open towards meeting new people in general. I guess my anxiety doesn't help us much here, and whenever The Fiancé waits for me to set up a meeting with somebody, I am disappointing him because I suck at meeting people and much rather spend my time "forgetting" that I even intended on meeting anybody in the first place.
Here in this case I could just let them do the talking, let The Fiancé do the figuring out if he's attracted to this person or not, and I can just lean back and be pretty, lol.
At any rate, this is distracting to a certain point, if nothing else, and I'll keep you posted on whether or not The Fiancé took the step and contacted Mr. Cuba. Cause - sincerely - one has to focus on the important matters in life, hasn't one...
Monday, January 23, 2006
what I just can't wrap my mind around...
They schemed to drug me. I mean, they actually came up with this plan to get me high in order to make the effect of my reaction easier on them.
My own sister, the only sister I will ever have, intented to subdue me with drugs cause otherwise she couldn't have beared to break the news to me.
MY SISTER!!!
If this fact wouldn't cause my vision to be blurry with red hot fury and a hurt so unimaginably deep, the fact of their irrational "wedding" wouldn't phase me half as much, and the thought of talking with or seeing either of them wouldn't cause me throw up a little bit in my own mouth.
There was only one other time in my life when I have felt this way, so utterly hurt and disgusted that it made me physically ill at the thought of the person who caused it. Just ONE time, many years ago, when I was cheated on by a guy. This one piece of human waste made me feel like this... and of all the people in the world I would have never expected for my own sister be the one person to step up to the plate and match the feeling.
I have learned the hard way that people are not to be trusted, and that most of them are not worth the amount of breath it takes to say their names, but when this extends into your own closest family, I don't think the world can be any more wrong than this.
Have you ever been deliberately drugged by your immediate family to keep you at bay? HAVE YOU???
I didn't think so. So I doubt you can imagine the way I am feeling. Now that I have had one night to sleep over this, I am not so much mad at their decision anymore to get "married" or even to barge into my own special time the way they did... what's left and what all my anger and hurt is focused on is that they deliberately schemed to cloud my mind just enough to soften the blow of my reaction.
My mother is afraid that if I do not show up to the signing o'contract I will cause a split in the family. She thinks that if that happens it would all be my fault and my responsibility, and I would be the one to blame, I would be the one ruining "their day". Only what she doesn't realize is what really happened behind the "obvious", and it's hardly something I could tell her. What she doesn't realize and will never realize is that this "split" has already happened, and that I have nothing to do with its cause. Not this time. I haven't tried to drug anybody, I haven't tried to keep my emergency "wedding" a secret from my sister, I haven't told her over internet chat, and left an offline invitation. To imagine that I can forgive this... it gives me this foul feeling in my stomach all over again.
And on top of all of that? None of them fine people are trying the least bit to approach me and try to make any kind of amends. Again I appear to be the bitch who overreacts, and who has to take the first step if anything should ever be resolved - as usually when something happens. My mother hung up on me, my father yelled at me like he hadn't done since I was a teenager, The Fiancé slept on the couch, and the "merry couple" is avoiding me like the pest because they heard from all kinds of sources how my reaction was like. Only they wouldn't know now, would they, for they took the easy way out when drugging me didn't work out as planned, and dumped the news on me with a few typed words in a chat program, leaving The Fiancé to do the damage control and to deal with the reaction they so desperately wanted to avoid by subdueing me with drugs.
Nothing of such a scale has ever happened before, and this time I will not take the bait of Mr. E's proclaimed "the doors are open, if she wants to talk".
If you do not approach ME, and approach me SOON, and behave properly in light of what you have done to me, this door will be happily slammed in your face, and the key thrown down the crapper. I can only take so much, and the last thing I can deal with in my already fragile state of mind is a family treating me with such contempt, disregard and disrespect.
And the question which keeps hammering away at my brain relentlessly is... when they came up with their ingenious plan of putting me under the influence of drugs as their only option to tell me about their plans, WHAT WERE THEY THINKING???????????
Am I really such a horrible person??? :(
My own sister, the only sister I will ever have, intented to subdue me with drugs cause otherwise she couldn't have beared to break the news to me.
MY SISTER!!!
If this fact wouldn't cause my vision to be blurry with red hot fury and a hurt so unimaginably deep, the fact of their irrational "wedding" wouldn't phase me half as much, and the thought of talking with or seeing either of them wouldn't cause me throw up a little bit in my own mouth.
There was only one other time in my life when I have felt this way, so utterly hurt and disgusted that it made me physically ill at the thought of the person who caused it. Just ONE time, many years ago, when I was cheated on by a guy. This one piece of human waste made me feel like this... and of all the people in the world I would have never expected for my own sister be the one person to step up to the plate and match the feeling.
I have learned the hard way that people are not to be trusted, and that most of them are not worth the amount of breath it takes to say their names, but when this extends into your own closest family, I don't think the world can be any more wrong than this.
Have you ever been deliberately drugged by your immediate family to keep you at bay? HAVE YOU???
I didn't think so. So I doubt you can imagine the way I am feeling. Now that I have had one night to sleep over this, I am not so much mad at their decision anymore to get "married" or even to barge into my own special time the way they did... what's left and what all my anger and hurt is focused on is that they deliberately schemed to cloud my mind just enough to soften the blow of my reaction.
My mother is afraid that if I do not show up to the signing o'contract I will cause a split in the family. She thinks that if that happens it would all be my fault and my responsibility, and I would be the one to blame, I would be the one ruining "their day". Only what she doesn't realize is what really happened behind the "obvious", and it's hardly something I could tell her. What she doesn't realize and will never realize is that this "split" has already happened, and that I have nothing to do with its cause. Not this time. I haven't tried to drug anybody, I haven't tried to keep my emergency "wedding" a secret from my sister, I haven't told her over internet chat, and left an offline invitation. To imagine that I can forgive this... it gives me this foul feeling in my stomach all over again.
And on top of all of that? None of them fine people are trying the least bit to approach me and try to make any kind of amends. Again I appear to be the bitch who overreacts, and who has to take the first step if anything should ever be resolved - as usually when something happens. My mother hung up on me, my father yelled at me like he hadn't done since I was a teenager, The Fiancé slept on the couch, and the "merry couple" is avoiding me like the pest because they heard from all kinds of sources how my reaction was like. Only they wouldn't know now, would they, for they took the easy way out when drugging me didn't work out as planned, and dumped the news on me with a few typed words in a chat program, leaving The Fiancé to do the damage control and to deal with the reaction they so desperately wanted to avoid by subdueing me with drugs.
Nothing of such a scale has ever happened before, and this time I will not take the bait of Mr. E's proclaimed "the doors are open, if she wants to talk".
If you do not approach ME, and approach me SOON, and behave properly in light of what you have done to me, this door will be happily slammed in your face, and the key thrown down the crapper. I can only take so much, and the last thing I can deal with in my already fragile state of mind is a family treating me with such contempt, disregard and disrespect.
And the question which keeps hammering away at my brain relentlessly is... when they came up with their ingenious plan of putting me under the influence of drugs as their only option to tell me about their plans, WHAT WERE THEY THINKING???????????
Am I really such a horrible person??? :(
Wednesday, January 11, 2006
The welling of Hormones
Not sure exactly what's happening. Can the removal of my hormonal means of contraception really have such a huge influence on things? It is rather scary, really, in any way imaginable. Gone is the prude-ish bitch who refused sex on a daily basis sometimes for week after week on end, and back is...
...well, let me tell you. When The Fiancé and I first met? Rabbits pale by comparison. We fucked whenever we saw each other, wherever we saw each other, and as many times as we could. The Fiancé crumbled my view of the world that men have any sort of physical limitations to their potency and stamina by once fucking me nine times in a rather short night, and then once six times in a single hour. Me? I more than willingly went along with it all. Could easily keep up with him, managed twice to wear him out to a point where not even he could move a muscle anymore. Decency? Privacy? Modesty? None. We were once observed for quite some time without noticing by an approaching hiker in Griffith Park while his dick was up to his balls down my throat, we were caught twice by his co-workers while fucking on the floor of his boss' print shop, and once by his unexpectedly returned-home uncle, where he was still renting a room at that time. We fucked on the oily carpet in his uncle's garage, and on a pile of printing paper on a tipsy desk in the shop. We fucked under the stars in Griffith Park and almost got caught by the park rangers. We fucked repeatedly in a car that was by all laws of physics and gravity too small to be fucked in. He gave me my first quadruple-orgasm, and I developed a technique to give him regular multiple orgasms as well. A guy with multiple orgasms!!! Heavens, we even beat each other up on occasion in a way that only barely evaded any sort of serious injuries, and those were usually the most intense... ahem...
...seesh... see the kind of language I am using??? I am blushíng just re-reading this!
But you see... this kind of language illustrates the impact of the following better. I went on the pill, ditched those nasty and inconvenient condoms for a more free and spontaneous love life (and added security!), and around the same time we moved in together and started Daily Routine(tm).
Or sex life became... well... rather average. And more average, and more average. I thought it was a combination of the sudden daily stress and our economical problems along with the hormonal changes from the pill. The Fiancé? One disgruntled little blue ball. I changed from the pill to another, more convenient, hormonal means of contraception. But it became worse, almost proportionally with the passed time. We went from nine times a day to 3 times a week, to 2 times a week, to once every two weeks. At the end I completely stopped thinking about sex, stopped fantasizing, stopped masturbating, stopped touching The Fiancé in any way, and when he tried to touch me I got pissy and bitchy and rejected him 98% of the time. At some point I even started to avoid hugs and kisses and holding hands, and everything involving physical closeness. Sex became the thing I had to do to keep The Fiancé happy, nothing more. Ya know. The literal log in the bedroom. Spread your legs and wait 'till it's over.
My vagina? A means of peeing and a source of regular blood, no more, no less than that.
It was horrible on all levels, as you can imagine. I thought it was the sudden stress of being the sole provider of our household, all the hours I had to pull at work, the depressing weather... you name it.
But then... then... hallelujah... I ran out of my hormonal contraception and had no prescription to get more. It was the holidays, peoples, most doctors were on vacation, and I didn't even want to bother calling mine, cause who wants sex anyway, right?
I should sue the pharma company that produces this shit. Holy condom, I have spent the last couple of weeks in a horny stupor, insatisfyable, masturbating multiple times a day, assaulting The Fiancé with sex, watching massive porn on the internet, and having nothing else in my head but images of erect penises and all the nasty things one can do with them. My dreams are full of sex, my head is full of sex, my free time is full of sex. Too tired after work? HELL NO. Too busy reading my book at night? HELL NO. Hello internet and all your bisexual personals sites and possibilities. Ladies and Gentlemen, I am back, and I am back with a vengeance. I am earning back my old title of "nympho", and I swear that this year will see my first three- and foursome, and aside from the serious hetero action that's already going on will also see some serious gay action on both parts! Can you believe I have been singing loudly (and horribly out of tune) for no other reason than that the radio was on on my home from work, with a huge happy smile on my face, and no worry clouding my uncharacteristically calm and clear mind? Can you believe I have been active, and not tired, and alert at all times, despite getting up early in the morning and pulling long hours at work? I am one happy little girl right now, with one happy little fiancé, and constantly throbbing and swollen and longing girl bits - as I SHOULD be. ;)
Just right for my birthday coming up tomorrow. :)
OH! And can you believe that we have forgotten to turn off the lights and roll down the blinds in our living room the other day, and ended up with the people living on the other side of the street lurking around their window with spyglasses, and two chairs pulled to the window like it's ultimate HD broadband movie time? *falls over laughing*
...well, let me tell you. When The Fiancé and I first met? Rabbits pale by comparison. We fucked whenever we saw each other, wherever we saw each other, and as many times as we could. The Fiancé crumbled my view of the world that men have any sort of physical limitations to their potency and stamina by once fucking me nine times in a rather short night, and then once six times in a single hour. Me? I more than willingly went along with it all. Could easily keep up with him, managed twice to wear him out to a point where not even he could move a muscle anymore. Decency? Privacy? Modesty? None. We were once observed for quite some time without noticing by an approaching hiker in Griffith Park while his dick was up to his balls down my throat, we were caught twice by his co-workers while fucking on the floor of his boss' print shop, and once by his unexpectedly returned-home uncle, where he was still renting a room at that time. We fucked on the oily carpet in his uncle's garage, and on a pile of printing paper on a tipsy desk in the shop. We fucked under the stars in Griffith Park and almost got caught by the park rangers. We fucked repeatedly in a car that was by all laws of physics and gravity too small to be fucked in. He gave me my first quadruple-orgasm, and I developed a technique to give him regular multiple orgasms as well. A guy with multiple orgasms!!! Heavens, we even beat each other up on occasion in a way that only barely evaded any sort of serious injuries, and those were usually the most intense... ahem...
...seesh... see the kind of language I am using??? I am blushíng just re-reading this!
But you see... this kind of language illustrates the impact of the following better. I went on the pill, ditched those nasty and inconvenient condoms for a more free and spontaneous love life (and added security!), and around the same time we moved in together and started Daily Routine(tm).
Or sex life became... well... rather average. And more average, and more average. I thought it was a combination of the sudden daily stress and our economical problems along with the hormonal changes from the pill. The Fiancé? One disgruntled little blue ball. I changed from the pill to another, more convenient, hormonal means of contraception. But it became worse, almost proportionally with the passed time. We went from nine times a day to 3 times a week, to 2 times a week, to once every two weeks. At the end I completely stopped thinking about sex, stopped fantasizing, stopped masturbating, stopped touching The Fiancé in any way, and when he tried to touch me I got pissy and bitchy and rejected him 98% of the time. At some point I even started to avoid hugs and kisses and holding hands, and everything involving physical closeness. Sex became the thing I had to do to keep The Fiancé happy, nothing more. Ya know. The literal log in the bedroom. Spread your legs and wait 'till it's over.
My vagina? A means of peeing and a source of regular blood, no more, no less than that.
It was horrible on all levels, as you can imagine. I thought it was the sudden stress of being the sole provider of our household, all the hours I had to pull at work, the depressing weather... you name it.
But then... then... hallelujah... I ran out of my hormonal contraception and had no prescription to get more. It was the holidays, peoples, most doctors were on vacation, and I didn't even want to bother calling mine, cause who wants sex anyway, right?
I should sue the pharma company that produces this shit. Holy condom, I have spent the last couple of weeks in a horny stupor, insatisfyable, masturbating multiple times a day, assaulting The Fiancé with sex, watching massive porn on the internet, and having nothing else in my head but images of erect penises and all the nasty things one can do with them. My dreams are full of sex, my head is full of sex, my free time is full of sex. Too tired after work? HELL NO. Too busy reading my book at night? HELL NO. Hello internet and all your bisexual personals sites and possibilities. Ladies and Gentlemen, I am back, and I am back with a vengeance. I am earning back my old title of "nympho", and I swear that this year will see my first three- and foursome, and aside from the serious hetero action that's already going on will also see some serious gay action on both parts! Can you believe I have been singing loudly (and horribly out of tune) for no other reason than that the radio was on on my home from work, with a huge happy smile on my face, and no worry clouding my uncharacteristically calm and clear mind? Can you believe I have been active, and not tired, and alert at all times, despite getting up early in the morning and pulling long hours at work? I am one happy little girl right now, with one happy little fiancé, and constantly throbbing and swollen and longing girl bits - as I SHOULD be. ;)
Just right for my birthday coming up tomorrow. :)
OH! And can you believe that we have forgotten to turn off the lights and roll down the blinds in our living room the other day, and ended up with the people living on the other side of the street lurking around their window with spyglasses, and two chairs pulled to the window like it's ultimate HD broadband movie time? *falls over laughing*
Tuesday, January 03, 2006
Tying of knots ahead...
Should I even mention on a public platform like this that The Fiancé and I had unprotected sex last night with only little to no attempts at "taking care"?
Probably not... *smirk*
It's not like we are trying to have a baby. It's not like we want to have one right now, either. Okay, so I ran out of my usual means of contraception, and we had no chance to go and buy a pack of ye ole' latex yet... but is that a good enough reason to be careless like that?
Probably not.
Oh wait... maybe everything, including reason, vanished in a blur of emotions and feelings since we finally sat down on New Year's Eve and began this year with a definite setting of a date for our wedding...
The first step is finally made. Now, with this date in mind (- and believe me when I say that it's a wonderful and easy date to remember) we can start with some actual and real planning for this life-altering event, and I am exicted like a little girl who gets to play the fairy princess at the school play this year. Cause, like my mom recently said to The Fiancé with glee in her eyes: "It's gonna be GOOD..."
Probably not... *smirk*
It's not like we are trying to have a baby. It's not like we want to have one right now, either. Okay, so I ran out of my usual means of contraception, and we had no chance to go and buy a pack of ye ole' latex yet... but is that a good enough reason to be careless like that?
Probably not.
Oh wait... maybe everything, including reason, vanished in a blur of emotions and feelings since we finally sat down on New Year's Eve and began this year with a definite setting of a date for our wedding...
The first step is finally made. Now, with this date in mind (- and believe me when I say that it's a wonderful and easy date to remember) we can start with some actual and real planning for this life-altering event, and I am exicted like a little girl who gets to play the fairy princess at the school play this year. Cause, like my mom recently said to The Fiancé with glee in her eyes: "It's gonna be GOOD..."
