Thursday, March 31, 2005
Afterall...
So... out of the blue, and completely unexpected, there she was again. In my dreams. Jo... gorgeous and breathtaking as ever. And I thought I was done with dreaming of her... I spent the whole morning in a confused daze, because she was there again... and I didn't think she was still around.
Or maybe she was just a projection of my subconscience, produced by my excitement that I'll get to go to West Hollywood tonight, afterall? Ditching band practice for it too... and that a night before our double-gig event. This better be worth it... and needless to say, I am quite a bit nervous. For all my talk and bigmouthing, I have NEVER been to a gay bar before, and the only "real life gays" I have been around in my life before were all male and cuddly... and that one butch dyke couple that just about made me puke, they were acting so masculine.
Oh. And that other woman I did a job for once a few years ago, whom I addressed with "Mr" at first sight. You cannot imagine the embarrassment of that situation... but I digress.
Actually... on that thought: what is it about butches, anyways? I like women for their softness, and feminity, and long beautiful hair, and soft doe eyes, and flowing shapes... for everything that's not masculine... and if I wanted some baseball cap wearing, leather-jacket sporting, wide-legged-walking, military-haircut featuring type person, I'd go for someone with a penis.
But then maybe that's just me in my personal bisexuality. *shrugs*
Anyway. I asked The Fiancé, sheepishly: "So, what if some dude's gonna hit on you tonight?"
He said: "That'd be rather welcome."
Ugh. Watch me. I ain't gonna focus on myself and my possible opportunities (if any), but spend the entire evening observing The Fiancé and any possible approachers in exstatic anticipation and drooling dirty fantasies...
...but then, supposedly Thursdays are ladies' nights at that particular joint... maybe... maybe...
Or maybe she was just a projection of my subconscience, produced by my excitement that I'll get to go to West Hollywood tonight, afterall? Ditching band practice for it too... and that a night before our double-gig event. This better be worth it... and needless to say, I am quite a bit nervous. For all my talk and bigmouthing, I have NEVER been to a gay bar before, and the only "real life gays" I have been around in my life before were all male and cuddly... and that one butch dyke couple that just about made me puke, they were acting so masculine.
Oh. And that other woman I did a job for once a few years ago, whom I addressed with "Mr" at first sight. You cannot imagine the embarrassment of that situation... but I digress.
Actually... on that thought: what is it about butches, anyways? I like women for their softness, and feminity, and long beautiful hair, and soft doe eyes, and flowing shapes... for everything that's not masculine... and if I wanted some baseball cap wearing, leather-jacket sporting, wide-legged-walking, military-haircut featuring type person, I'd go for someone with a penis.
But then maybe that's just me in my personal bisexuality. *shrugs*
Anyway. I asked The Fiancé, sheepishly: "So, what if some dude's gonna hit on you tonight?"
He said: "That'd be rather welcome."
Ugh. Watch me. I ain't gonna focus on myself and my possible opportunities (if any), but spend the entire evening observing The Fiancé and any possible approachers in exstatic anticipation and drooling dirty fantasies...
...but then, supposedly Thursdays are ladies' nights at that particular joint... maybe... maybe...
Thursday, March 24, 2005
No go...
Why is it that everytime something fun is planned, something else gets in the middle of it?
Yes... you guessed right... no gay bar for me, tonight.
No wheels of our own right now... extreme fatigue due to the just stated fact and all circumstances coming along with it... and of course some last-minute practicing and packing up our equipment and hauling it into the band van for tomorrows big road trip up to Bakersfield to our first out-of-town gig!!!
Much excitement over this on my part. We're getting out there... slowly... step by step... but to reach any goal, no matter how far out and hard to reach it may be, one has to reach it by taking one step after the other. And our steps are noticably getting bigger. :)
Anyway... that's not what I wanted to talk about. I wanted to mention my newest addiction - just in case you were wondering where I am and why I am not updating neither this nor my "real" blog all that much lately.
Myspace.
Originally intended for band promoting purposes, it quickly turned into my newest obsession. You wouldn't believe how many bisexual interest groups are on that thing, and how many bi girls I have already found local to Los Angeles, and contacted, and talked with!
Of course this is nothing but your regular superficial online jibber jabber that doesn't mean more than a sloth's fart on treetop in Sumatra... but at least it shows me that there are many more people like me out there than I thought... and if there are (literally) thousands of them on my monitor at the click of a button, I wonder how big of a possibility it is to actually meet one by chance face to face in Real Life™. Pretty big, if you ask me!
Needless to say, I am excited. I have "met" a bunch of nice-looking gals, and a bunch of airheads, and a bunch of guys who just don't get it and still think they can score by relentlessly telling me "u r hot, wanna chat". At any rate, it's a lot of fun, and I have almost forgotten what it's like to initate contact with random strangers on the internet.
Of course... I'd rather be at the gay bar with The Fiancé's best friend right now. :/
But since I cannot, I should probally go and help the roomies stack our stuff into the van so tomorrow morning we are ready to roll by 10am. I'd post a link to my profile on myspace here, alas since it features my real name and pics of myself, I'll just be hypocritical enough to say that this makes it impossible for me to pass it on to you.
Wish us luck for our gig!
Yes... you guessed right... no gay bar for me, tonight.
No wheels of our own right now... extreme fatigue due to the just stated fact and all circumstances coming along with it... and of course some last-minute practicing and packing up our equipment and hauling it into the band van for tomorrows big road trip up to Bakersfield to our first out-of-town gig!!!
Much excitement over this on my part. We're getting out there... slowly... step by step... but to reach any goal, no matter how far out and hard to reach it may be, one has to reach it by taking one step after the other. And our steps are noticably getting bigger. :)
Anyway... that's not what I wanted to talk about. I wanted to mention my newest addiction - just in case you were wondering where I am and why I am not updating neither this nor my "real" blog all that much lately.
Myspace.
Originally intended for band promoting purposes, it quickly turned into my newest obsession. You wouldn't believe how many bisexual interest groups are on that thing, and how many bi girls I have already found local to Los Angeles, and contacted, and talked with!
Of course this is nothing but your regular superficial online jibber jabber that doesn't mean more than a sloth's fart on treetop in Sumatra... but at least it shows me that there are many more people like me out there than I thought... and if there are (literally) thousands of them on my monitor at the click of a button, I wonder how big of a possibility it is to actually meet one by chance face to face in Real Life™. Pretty big, if you ask me!
Needless to say, I am excited. I have "met" a bunch of nice-looking gals, and a bunch of airheads, and a bunch of guys who just don't get it and still think they can score by relentlessly telling me "u r hot, wanna chat". At any rate, it's a lot of fun, and I have almost forgotten what it's like to initate contact with random strangers on the internet.
Of course... I'd rather be at the gay bar with The Fiancé's best friend right now. :/
But since I cannot, I should probally go and help the roomies stack our stuff into the van so tomorrow morning we are ready to roll by 10am. I'd post a link to my profile on myspace here, alas since it features my real name and pics of myself, I'll just be hypocritical enough to say that this makes it impossible for me to pass it on to you.
Wish us luck for our gig!
Tuesday, March 22, 2005
West Hollywood
So, The Fiancé's best friend who I mentioned in my last entry has been invited by her lesbian friend to a gay bar in West Hollywood. She then in turn invited The Fiancé and I to come along.
First of all... YAY! Someone's finally taking me to a gay bar!
And second of all... girl, stop fooling yourself and everybody else around you. You've been saying that you are just "curious" a few too many times now. You are one of the few people who have figured out what's up with me without ever having been told, and I see you looking at pretty girls just as much as I do. Not even mentioning just how many times I've heard stories about how you've been "flirting" with some girl or another. Tell you what. You stop insisting that you are just "somewhat curious", and I stop hiding myself behind my heterosexual relationship as if I were totally "normal", and we'll have a blast of an evening on Thursday checking out the goods without having to tiptoe around each other, unsure of how much to really let the other one know about what's up and what we came here for.
And should I happen to see someone checking out The Fiancé and making a move on him, I think I'll just pass out with a mental orgasm right then and there...
First of all... YAY! Someone's finally taking me to a gay bar!
And second of all... girl, stop fooling yourself and everybody else around you. You've been saying that you are just "curious" a few too many times now. You are one of the few people who have figured out what's up with me without ever having been told, and I see you looking at pretty girls just as much as I do. Not even mentioning just how many times I've heard stories about how you've been "flirting" with some girl or another. Tell you what. You stop insisting that you are just "somewhat curious", and I stop hiding myself behind my heterosexual relationship as if I were totally "normal", and we'll have a blast of an evening on Thursday checking out the goods without having to tiptoe around each other, unsure of how much to really let the other one know about what's up and what we came here for.
And should I happen to see someone checking out The Fiancé and making a move on him, I think I'll just pass out with a mental orgasm right then and there...
Friday, March 18, 2005
A friend
I had an appointment with my counselor at college this morning. While waiting for him to show up I had the opportunity to watch a rather distraught secretary start her day with a bunch of red and white roses unexpectedly waiting for her on her desk.
"They are from my boyfriend!", she exclaimed upon examination of the little attached card. A female co-worker hustled out of her office to ooh and aah at the flowers with her, going into an almost frenzy over how romantic of a gesture this was, and promptly ended up with a whole explanation of how the secretary and her boyfriend got into a nasty fight last night. I didn't mean to pry, but sitting right there next to them waiting for my appointment, I couldn't do much but to hear what was going on.
Not that the details matter... not to me, or any of my readers... but what did matter, and what made me feel even worse about my own nasty fight that I had this morning before the appointment, was to watch the coworker sort of squat down before the secretary, and compassionately listen to her complain and rant about her boyfriend. She then proceded to give her own input, and they both got into a very involved talk that included solutions, suggestions... overall working of the problem, girl to girl.
I sat there and stared at my hands.
I don't have a friend I could talk to about The Fiancé. I don't have anyone I could call up and rant my heart out to about my evil, evil man. I can't go cry at anyone's shoulder, I don't have anyone to compassionately bash on men with me, before gently steering me back to rationality and reason, enabling me to return home more composed and calm, ready to talk about matters.
When we fight - and I mean the big and nasty ones - I end up sitting in my room alone, crying. Internalizing instead of ranting. Eventually letting the whole stock of collected frustration all at once out at The Fiancé, which leads to more fights and arguments.
I miss having a girlfriend. I miss having someone I can hang with on the phone for hours and never run out of topics with. I miss having someone I could call day or night, someone who understands, someone who knows. Someone who can take me away from this testosterone filled house I live in every once in a while.
Yes... I do have friends. This is none of those pathetic boo-hoo-nobody-loves-me type self-pity posts. I feel well loved in my environment... but my environment consists almost exclusively of males. Men operate on a different level... yes, I could talk with them if I should so choose, they will always be there for me... but men will be men, and men will never understand where a woman is coming from, and will try to talk her out of whatever she is feeling with logic and rationale. Girls... don't tell me that you can talk with a heterosexual man the way you could with your best girlfriend. Girl on girl... it's a completely different ballgame... and I haven't enjoyed the company of a girlfriend in... well, yes: years.
What happened? I moved to the States. Leaving my best friends behind at home... and with my new life came new people, and 6000 miles of distance... and as time passes by people stop being able to relate. Even if I could afford the long distance calls it would take to stay in touch with them properly, what good would it do to talk with them about problems in a relationship they only know one participant of. They know nothing about The Fiancé and the problems we are having - heck, they barely know anything about me anymore... a lot changes in three years.
And the new people that came along in my new life? Don't ask me why, but the majority of them were/are male. There was only one girl here that I was very close to. A true girlfriend, with whom I would hang out with, and who I would call up to vent with whenever I felt like it... she was a good "replacement" for what I had left behind... but about a year ago she moved down to San Diego... and I have seen her only once since. I am really not good at keeping in contact with people over distances.
There is nobody else. One of the Fiancé's best friends is a girl. She is a real doll, she is a total sweetheart, and I love her to pieces. But she is his best friend - and as such sort of out of the race when it comes to girl support. There is another acquaintance of mine here in LA... but that's just what she is, an acquaintance... married, with a kid, and I don't get to see her more often than maybe once every two or three months... and that's not only because we live rather far apart. Much as I like hanging out with her, but there has been no real "spark" there that would really draw me to her as a close friend. We still have moments of awkward silences sometime, when we run out of things to talk about. We live in two entirely different worlds, that might have something to do with it.
What I am left with is me, myself and I. I get to go out, I get to have fun, I get to meet people - but it's always on guys' terms, it's always guys-type of fun. Which sustains me only so far. I wish so badly for a girl to be in my life, closely, someone to sit in my room with on the bed with a bucket of ice cream, watching chick flicks and bawling our eyes out over them, or giggle about and tease our men behind their backs, and being overall just a girl. Not "one of the guys". Or someone's fiancée. I wish so badly for girl time with someone... and that has nothing to do with me wanting to experience physical love with a woman. I just want a girlfriend who'll stick with me, who loves me for who I am, and who I can call up and bawl my eyes out to on days like today... before I fall apart with all my emotions that no man has the patience or understanding for. I am tired of holding myself in my own arms and crying and crying on my bed until I run out of tears and just lay there a sobbing pathetic heap on the bed, and later exploding into The Fiancé's face worse than I felt like before I started internalizing. I want someone to hold me in her arms when I cry, to shove tissues in my face, tell me how right I am about everything even if we both know I am not, tell me everything will be okay, supply me with all the ice cream I can possibly eat, and then snuggle with me on the couch while watching Bridges over Madison County surrounded by scented candles and lava lamps.
I really need a friend without a penis. :(
"They are from my boyfriend!", she exclaimed upon examination of the little attached card. A female co-worker hustled out of her office to ooh and aah at the flowers with her, going into an almost frenzy over how romantic of a gesture this was, and promptly ended up with a whole explanation of how the secretary and her boyfriend got into a nasty fight last night. I didn't mean to pry, but sitting right there next to them waiting for my appointment, I couldn't do much but to hear what was going on.
Not that the details matter... not to me, or any of my readers... but what did matter, and what made me feel even worse about my own nasty fight that I had this morning before the appointment, was to watch the coworker sort of squat down before the secretary, and compassionately listen to her complain and rant about her boyfriend. She then proceded to give her own input, and they both got into a very involved talk that included solutions, suggestions... overall working of the problem, girl to girl.
I sat there and stared at my hands.
I don't have a friend I could talk to about The Fiancé. I don't have anyone I could call up and rant my heart out to about my evil, evil man. I can't go cry at anyone's shoulder, I don't have anyone to compassionately bash on men with me, before gently steering me back to rationality and reason, enabling me to return home more composed and calm, ready to talk about matters.
When we fight - and I mean the big and nasty ones - I end up sitting in my room alone, crying. Internalizing instead of ranting. Eventually letting the whole stock of collected frustration all at once out at The Fiancé, which leads to more fights and arguments.
I miss having a girlfriend. I miss having someone I can hang with on the phone for hours and never run out of topics with. I miss having someone I could call day or night, someone who understands, someone who knows. Someone who can take me away from this testosterone filled house I live in every once in a while.
Yes... I do have friends. This is none of those pathetic boo-hoo-nobody-loves-me type self-pity posts. I feel well loved in my environment... but my environment consists almost exclusively of males. Men operate on a different level... yes, I could talk with them if I should so choose, they will always be there for me... but men will be men, and men will never understand where a woman is coming from, and will try to talk her out of whatever she is feeling with logic and rationale. Girls... don't tell me that you can talk with a heterosexual man the way you could with your best girlfriend. Girl on girl... it's a completely different ballgame... and I haven't enjoyed the company of a girlfriend in... well, yes: years.
What happened? I moved to the States. Leaving my best friends behind at home... and with my new life came new people, and 6000 miles of distance... and as time passes by people stop being able to relate. Even if I could afford the long distance calls it would take to stay in touch with them properly, what good would it do to talk with them about problems in a relationship they only know one participant of. They know nothing about The Fiancé and the problems we are having - heck, they barely know anything about me anymore... a lot changes in three years.
And the new people that came along in my new life? Don't ask me why, but the majority of them were/are male. There was only one girl here that I was very close to. A true girlfriend, with whom I would hang out with, and who I would call up to vent with whenever I felt like it... she was a good "replacement" for what I had left behind... but about a year ago she moved down to San Diego... and I have seen her only once since. I am really not good at keeping in contact with people over distances.
There is nobody else. One of the Fiancé's best friends is a girl. She is a real doll, she is a total sweetheart, and I love her to pieces. But she is his best friend - and as such sort of out of the race when it comes to girl support. There is another acquaintance of mine here in LA... but that's just what she is, an acquaintance... married, with a kid, and I don't get to see her more often than maybe once every two or three months... and that's not only because we live rather far apart. Much as I like hanging out with her, but there has been no real "spark" there that would really draw me to her as a close friend. We still have moments of awkward silences sometime, when we run out of things to talk about. We live in two entirely different worlds, that might have something to do with it.
What I am left with is me, myself and I. I get to go out, I get to have fun, I get to meet people - but it's always on guys' terms, it's always guys-type of fun. Which sustains me only so far. I wish so badly for a girl to be in my life, closely, someone to sit in my room with on the bed with a bucket of ice cream, watching chick flicks and bawling our eyes out over them, or giggle about and tease our men behind their backs, and being overall just a girl. Not "one of the guys". Or someone's fiancée. I wish so badly for girl time with someone... and that has nothing to do with me wanting to experience physical love with a woman. I just want a girlfriend who'll stick with me, who loves me for who I am, and who I can call up and bawl my eyes out to on days like today... before I fall apart with all my emotions that no man has the patience or understanding for. I am tired of holding myself in my own arms and crying and crying on my bed until I run out of tears and just lay there a sobbing pathetic heap on the bed, and later exploding into The Fiancé's face worse than I felt like before I started internalizing. I want someone to hold me in her arms when I cry, to shove tissues in my face, tell me how right I am about everything even if we both know I am not, tell me everything will be okay, supply me with all the ice cream I can possibly eat, and then snuggle with me on the couch while watching Bridges over Madison County surrounded by scented candles and lava lamps.
I really need a friend without a penis. :(
Monday, March 14, 2005
Dear hole in my stomach,
Happy first birthday, my gorgeous yet horribly irritated and upset belly button piercing. If you wouldn't be so damn pretty, I would have gotten rid of you a long time ago, you fickle little thing. You diva. You sensitive little drama queen. Our new twister is a good thing, you know, it's pretty, and it's in no way offensive to your finally healed flesh tunnel. I mean, seriously... I babied you, I cared for you, I did everything within my power to make you feel comfortable with me, I gave you a whole 10 months time before I tentatively dared to encumber you with a new piece of jewelry, when all I really had to do was to wait 6 months... and you let me know right away that there will be no friendship between you and it's dangling leaves. So I gave you your original barbell back and waited yet another 2 months, leaving you be. But my patience goes only so far... and when our new twister arrived, my decision was final: you'll wear it, resistence is futile. Or so I thought. Of course you have your own mean little ways to fight back. And oooh... you got me really good, I admit. Good enough that now every touch in a 2 inch radius around you sends me into bruised agony... are you trying to tell me something? Maybe I have overdone it a bit with all my excited changes once I got our new jewelry in the mail... I can see how this could have upset you a bit... but... enough is enough - keep your sudden lymph to yourself, and I don't appreciate your crusties much, either. Get over it... accept the fact that you are healed, that I gave you much more time to do so than anybody else would have, take the twister, accept it as your new best friend, and move on. Move on, and I'll like you again the way I did before.
Sincerely,
The Body you are pierced into
Sincerely,
The Body you are pierced into
Saturday, March 12, 2005
The Notebook
It's the movie that we wanted to see along with our engagement celebrations last June... only we got sidetracked, and next thing we knew it was out of theaters.
But all hail to Blockbuster, we finally got around to rent it, and The Fiancé, despite himself and his distaste for "chick flicks", promised to watch it with me, so that's what we did last night, all cuddled up in bed. I was worried that he'd doze off on me, seeing as that's what he usually does when I "make" him watch a "flick" with me... but to my surprise he stayed with me throughout the entire thing...
...and to all lovers out there, whether you are engaged/married or not, but especially if you are engaged/married... do yourselves a favor, and watch that movie together. I won't spoil it for you if you haven't seen it... but the moment we had together when it ended was comparable to nothing. The Fiancé was touched just as much as I was, there were tears even in his eyes, and we just looked at each other and held each other so close for such a long time, feeling this overwhelming surge of love for each other... it was one of the most wonderful moments I've had with him... and I was surprised to hear him say, as he was wiping away his tears, that this was the perfect movie to see for our engagement - even if it's already 9 months past...
"So... we fight - that's what we do!" - Noah Calhoun
But all hail to Blockbuster, we finally got around to rent it, and The Fiancé, despite himself and his distaste for "chick flicks", promised to watch it with me, so that's what we did last night, all cuddled up in bed. I was worried that he'd doze off on me, seeing as that's what he usually does when I "make" him watch a "flick" with me... but to my surprise he stayed with me throughout the entire thing...
...and to all lovers out there, whether you are engaged/married or not, but especially if you are engaged/married... do yourselves a favor, and watch that movie together. I won't spoil it for you if you haven't seen it... but the moment we had together when it ended was comparable to nothing. The Fiancé was touched just as much as I was, there were tears even in his eyes, and we just looked at each other and held each other so close for such a long time, feeling this overwhelming surge of love for each other... it was one of the most wonderful moments I've had with him... and I was surprised to hear him say, as he was wiping away his tears, that this was the perfect movie to see for our engagement - even if it's already 9 months past...
"So... we fight - that's what we do!" - Noah Calhoun
Monday, March 07, 2005
Exhaustion peak...
Whoever thought that practicing tonight would be a good idea? We had just about as much energy as a listless sloth holding siesta, and after the fourth song we finally surrendered to our exhaustion, dropping our guitars/drumsticks like a heavy bag of wet clothes, each of us walking off in a different direction without further ado.
I am so wired, I don't think I'll even call The Fiancé on his promise to perform pleasures on me tonight... but speaking of pleasures: I have found and ordered a reverse dangle navel jewelry online, and I am pretty darn excited over it. Reverse, because my navel is pierced in such a way that regular dangles wouldn't exactly dangle, but rather stick out of my belly button horizontally, which disappointed me almost to the point of tears when I tried to wear the piece of beautiful dangle jewelry that The Fiancé so skillfully picked out for me to celebrate our 1-year-living-together-anniversary last October. This should do the trick just fine, and I am very excited to show it off along with all my tummy flab. :)
I am so wired, I don't think I'll even call The Fiancé on his promise to perform pleasures on me tonight... but speaking of pleasures: I have found and ordered a reverse dangle navel jewelry online, and I am pretty darn excited over it. Reverse, because my navel is pierced in such a way that regular dangles wouldn't exactly dangle, but rather stick out of my belly button horizontally, which disappointed me almost to the point of tears when I tried to wear the piece of beautiful dangle jewelry that The Fiancé so skillfully picked out for me to celebrate our 1-year-living-together-anniversary last October. This should do the trick just fine, and I am very excited to show it off along with all my tummy flab. :)
Busy Week
Please excuse me extended absence, it's been one hell of a week. I've mostly spent it watching the hair on my underarms (- excuse me, Auty... I haven't found a better word for them yet) grow back... and also playing 3 live shows in 3 different locations. Needless to say, I am very drained this Sunday night... and very grateful that I don't have an office to show up to tomorrow morning, or anything of that sort.
Freelancing from home has its benefits.
As per observation it seems like I am developing into some sort of token for our band, that seems to "sell" with the audience. Been gawked at, invited to drinks, and turned down a persistent invitation to have my toes soaked in lime and salt, and then thoroughly licked. That's one of those moments when I am tempted to make it public that I don't do guys, just to be able to get out of situations like that. And it wouldn't be hard to pull off, seeing as The Fiancé (in his function as our manager) and I keep it professional (i.e. distant) when we're out with the band. If the "official lesbian" thing would pay off for the good of the band though I dare to question... seeing as said lime and salt guy turned out to be the member of a rather well-known band, and a close friend of the owner of the bar we played at, and I am sure it was because of me letting him invite me to a drink it was that we got to talk about some future exposure possibilities for the band.
Either way... this isn't my band blog (- I use my "real" blog for this purpose these days, almost exclusively now - and I get less and less commenters the more and more I talk about it... shows me how entertaining it is for people to follow my budding career in the music business... LOL!), so what's really mentionworthy in this last week on this blog is the fact that apparently it doesn't take a Jo to completely sweep me off my feet.
Sure... said girl (- let's call her simply O) isn't her... nowhere near Jo's statuesque beauty and captivating personality, but that's to be expected. No one is. However... she is 5'11"... she is slender but not thin, and has black hair all the way down her back... and a really beautiful face. I didn't get to talk with her much, but she seems smart, really self-confident, and funny.
And she's dating this 5' black guy.
No, really... 5'. Maybe 5'1", but I doubt it. He's the smallest guy I have ever seen without being a midget... really cool dude, totally into the music business, and a blast to hang out with... but seeing those two together one cannot help but blink a few times. And boy, I couldn't help but keep on staring at that girl. Beautiful woman... and a lot easier to stay in contact with than Jo... seeing as she just moved in with 5' dude, and 5' dude rents a condo on The Fiancé's boss' property.
And we'll be staying in touch over some music issues. Quaint. :)
Now... I am not going after her in any way... especially not after seeing how much in love those two seem to be... but I am truly glad that a woman other than Jo managed to truly get and capture my attention the way O did. Maybe there is hope for me, afterall...
...and maybe I should finally delete that voice message off my cell phone and move on...
Freelancing from home has its benefits.
As per observation it seems like I am developing into some sort of token for our band, that seems to "sell" with the audience. Been gawked at, invited to drinks, and turned down a persistent invitation to have my toes soaked in lime and salt, and then thoroughly licked. That's one of those moments when I am tempted to make it public that I don't do guys, just to be able to get out of situations like that. And it wouldn't be hard to pull off, seeing as The Fiancé (in his function as our manager) and I keep it professional (i.e. distant) when we're out with the band. If the "official lesbian" thing would pay off for the good of the band though I dare to question... seeing as said lime and salt guy turned out to be the member of a rather well-known band, and a close friend of the owner of the bar we played at, and I am sure it was because of me letting him invite me to a drink it was that we got to talk about some future exposure possibilities for the band.
Either way... this isn't my band blog (- I use my "real" blog for this purpose these days, almost exclusively now - and I get less and less commenters the more and more I talk about it... shows me how entertaining it is for people to follow my budding career in the music business... LOL!), so what's really mentionworthy in this last week on this blog is the fact that apparently it doesn't take a Jo to completely sweep me off my feet.
Sure... said girl (- let's call her simply O) isn't her... nowhere near Jo's statuesque beauty and captivating personality, but that's to be expected. No one is. However... she is 5'11"... she is slender but not thin, and has black hair all the way down her back... and a really beautiful face. I didn't get to talk with her much, but she seems smart, really self-confident, and funny.
And she's dating this 5' black guy.
No, really... 5'. Maybe 5'1", but I doubt it. He's the smallest guy I have ever seen without being a midget... really cool dude, totally into the music business, and a blast to hang out with... but seeing those two together one cannot help but blink a few times. And boy, I couldn't help but keep on staring at that girl. Beautiful woman... and a lot easier to stay in contact with than Jo... seeing as she just moved in with 5' dude, and 5' dude rents a condo on The Fiancé's boss' property.
And we'll be staying in touch over some music issues. Quaint. :)
Now... I am not going after her in any way... especially not after seeing how much in love those two seem to be... but I am truly glad that a woman other than Jo managed to truly get and capture my attention the way O did. Maybe there is hope for me, afterall...
...and maybe I should finally delete that voice message off my cell phone and move on...
