So there is this band, m'kay? We (as in my band) were not exactly fond of them for a while, for their whole attitude and other stuff that is unrelated to this post. On a side note, they are actually pretty hot currently in the LA Spanish Rock Scene, have a lot more exposure than we do, and have been around for a while. We thought they were suffering from a major case of misplaced star-attitude (yes, you may call it envy), and thought them to be quite unapproachable after several events we attended with them. Eventually, at a gig we played together we finally got over ourselves and approached them, and actually found them to be pretty sweet and nice people. I was talking with all of them (feeling slightly drawn to the girl in their band - I think I have mentioned her here before), also with their bass player among everybody else. All in all I had two rather short in-person chats with him at gigs, and today I happened to receive an IM on myspace... turned out to have been this bass player, asking if I used any IM service. Innocent enough I figured... it can never be bad being on good and friendly terms with someone playing in such a "big" band compared to ourselves, so I gave him my yahoo! ID.

So the chat started.

bassplayer: HEY
spreadyourwings (which of course is not my real screen name): hey
bassplayer: HEHE
bassplayer: SO I SHOULDN'T EXPECT A REPLY (note: in reference to my status message)
spreadyourwings: well you can always try and see if i respond
bassplayer: HOW ARE U
bassplayer: GREAT PIC
spreadyourwings: thanks
bassplayer: hehe
spreadyourwings: i am pretty good, just came home from practice
bassplayer: long time no see
spreadyourwings: indeed
bassplayer: really where do u live?
spreadyourwings: how have you been?
spreadyourwings: i live in the *********...
bassplayer: where at
bassplayer: I live close to you
bassplayer: in ********
spreadyourwings: really? we are in *******...
spreadyourwings: just around the corner
bassplayer: nice
bassplayer: my sister lives there
spreadyourwings: yeah its an okay area...
bassplayer: i allways check out ur page (note: our band website)
spreadyourwings: yeah i saw the comment you left us, very cool
bassplayer: u live with ur parents
spreadyourwings: lol no... my parents live in europe
spreadyourwings: i live with my band mates...
bassplayer: what?
spreadyourwings: we're roomies...
bassplayer: damn
spreadyourwings: sound weird? lol
bassplayer: A LOT
bassplayer: wow...
bassplayer: I love ur pic
bassplayer: it's awesome;
spreadyourwings: yeah... we're saving rent that way... kinda happened that way when we all were looking for a place to stay
spreadyourwings: thank you
bassplayer: ur welcome
bassplayer: coolness.
bassplayer: u work?
spreadyourwings: yeah... from home tho. freelancing
spreadyourwings: i am a graphic designer
bassplayer: really how nice.
spreadyourwings: yeah... sometimes lol
spreadyourwings: what do you do for a living?
bassplayer: I play in *my band*
bassplayer: haha
spreadyourwings: ok so thats all you do?
bassplayer: no i'm kidding
bassplayer: hehe
bassplayer: Í work in a air conditioner shop
bassplayer: but i'm going to school to open my own busniess
spreadyourwings: oh-i think you told me that already
spreadyourwings: oh thats cool
bassplayer: yeah..
bassplayer: ur misterious
bassplayer: thats what i like about u
spreadyourwings: why is that?
spreadyourwings: awe
bassplayer: besides being tall and playing kick ass bass
spreadyourwings: hey thanks for the bass compliment. i am still all self conscious about it since i just picked it up less than a year ago...
spreadyourwings: and dont even get me started on my height... lol
bassplayer: well ur cool
bassplayer: hey are u gonna be on
bassplayer: later on
bassplayer: my brother wants to use this thing.
spreadyourwings: yeah... i still have some work to do, so i'll be around
bassplayer: ok
bassplayer: so i wil talk to u later
bassplayer: hughs to ya!
bassplayer: ciao
spreadyourwings: yeah message me whenever
spreadyourwings: byee!


So I am mysterious now...? Is this guy hitting on me...? BUT WAIT! There's more... exactly 5 minutes later, that is...


bassplayer: i'm not expecting a reply (note: another reference to my status message)
bassplayer: i just wanted to say ur cool!
spreadyourwings: LOL
spreadyourwings: na i'm still here it's ok
spreadyourwings: and i always reply to people who tell me i am cool
spreadyourwings: your bro done already?
bassplayer: yeah
bassplayer: well sort of
spreadyourwings: kicked him off?
bassplayer: i wanted to talk to u
bassplayer: that's it
bassplayer: yes
spreadyourwings: awe leave little (big?) bro some time at the puter too, meanie!
spreadyourwings: is he older our younger than you?
bassplayer: older
bassplayer: but
bassplayer: i command the computer
spreadyourwings: heh. sounds like me
spreadyourwings: i am the queen of my office and doom to everybody who dares touch my geek-tool lol
bassplayer: hehehe
bassplayer: really
spreadyourwings: oooh yeah
bassplayer: ur that dominative?
spreadyourwings: not really. i would call it more protective lol
spreadyourwings: but i do stand my ground
spreadyourwings: i gotta, with 2 guys in the band lol
bassplayer: damn
bassplayer: so i guess those pants with the chains mean something
spreadyourwings: hey... i wouldnt be a lady if i'd tell ya that
bassplayer: hahahaha
bassplayer: i have to be careful
bassplayer: u can totally kick my ass
bassplayer: ur tall as me
bassplayer: and strong
spreadyourwings: na... i am generally nice
spreadyourwings: yeah... i cant even carry my own damn bass amp lol
bassplayer: i'll help u
spreadyourwings: oh... so i have a roadie now?
bassplayer: for life
spreadyourwings: awe
bassplayer: only urs though
bassplayer: that's if u don;t mind
spreadyourwings: lol
spreadyourwings: i'll get in trouble if i have my own personal roadie and my mates will have to carry their own stuff while i strut along carrying nothing... lol
spreadyourwings: guess you'd have to give them a hand too..
bassplayer: hehe
bassplayer: they will get jeaolus
bassplayer: they are probably hitting on u all the time
bassplayer: that is if u don;t ahve a b/friend
spreadyourwings: lol naaa... that'd be too weird. we're like family
spreadyourwings: oh... will you be heavily disappointed if i tell you that i do?
bassplayer: nope
bassplayer: i respect that
spreadyourwings: thats good
bassplayer: it wouldn't surprise me
bassplayer: ur super cute
spreadyourwings: hey now... you make me blush here...
bassplayer: but hopefully ur b/friend won;t kick my ass
spreadyourwings: i cant handle so many compliments in such a short amount of time lol
spreadyourwings: lol
spreadyourwings: na
spreadyourwings: he's cool
bassplayer: coolnes
spreadyourwings: so you have no g/f?
bassplayer: no
spreadyourwings: how come? usually all it takes for guys is to say "i play in a band" and the chicks are all over them...
bassplayer: not me
bassplayer: i'm to busy with other stuff
spreadyourwings: mmm... well hey. should always make time for a groupie or two...
spreadyourwings: just teasing tho
bassplayer: i'll see
bassplayer: hehe
bassplayer: hey
bassplayer: im gonna go eat
bassplayer: but if i don't catch u in a bit
bassplayer: i will see ya maybe tomorrow
bassplayer: ok
spreadyourwings: ok well provecho or however that is spelt
bassplayer: nice
spreadyourwings: oh you guys playing too?
bassplayer: perfect
bassplayer: no
bassplayer: but i'll probably drop by
spreadyourwings: hey i'm trying with the spanish lol
spreadyourwings: oh that would be cool. we'll be on at 3...
bassplayer: nice
bassplayer: i'll try to make it
spreadyourwings: would be awesome!
bassplayer: cool
bassplayer: than i shall see ya tomorow
spreadyourwings: okay!
bassplayer: hughs to ya
bassplayer: have a good night
spreadyourwings: *hug* you too!
bassplayer: ciao ciao!
spreadyourwings: byee!


Huh. Of course I didn't tell him that I am marrying our manager next year, because The Fiancé and I have this deal not to show affection when we are out with the band - and apparently we're good at it, too. This guy obviously had no idea.

Should I have told him that I like chicks instead? Become some sort of token lesbian in the local Spanish Rock scene? I feel that in the future, if stuff like that keeps happening, this will be my ticket out of situations like that... and ultimately add more to my apparent "mysteriousness", and a whole lot of interest... (and maybe even get me some pussy action... *grin*)

The big question now... to pubically out or not to out...

Okay, enough of this Amy-crap. I take hints when I get them. Saturday I made my decidedly very last attempt to get in touch with her, by sending her a (somewhat humorous) text message inviting her for our show that night - again.

And?

Nothing. No call, no email, no text message back.

I get it now... but I really would have appreciated if she would have just told me, you know? I am a big girl... I can take it. Especially considering that she's the one missing out here. Judge me after one hour of nervous meeting, while I was all ridiculously decked out for stage, tired, disoriented because I was homeless for a few days because my house was being poisoned, worried out of my mind with a sick cat at home - and most of all horribly scared of my very first date with a female? Ok... if you don't want to give me another chance, so be it.

I am not really offended... I have met people before that sounded really nice in email or on the phone, and when I met them I was so horrified I wanted to get out of that situation as soon as possible. It happens. It's a chemistry thing. It's nothing personal, and I don't feel personally rejected, simply because she doesn't know me personally at all. She saw one hour of me, highly overdressed, and highly nervous. That's all.

People can't be attracted to everybody out there, it's normal.

I am, however, a little bit disappointed. I was not overly attracted to her either... but I thought she was cute enough and above all nice... and I would always like to make new friends, no matter what. I liked when she was calling me out of nowhere, and I liked emailing her and reading her responses. I enjoyed this, and I thought I was on the right track.

It's time to turn my attention to other things... only what those other things are I am not quite sure yet. I am a bit bummed out that we ended up spending Thursday night at home, as I mentioned in my previous entry, for I was ready to tackle the gay female populace of that particular joint with all my clumsy charms full of desperate determination. Now I feel a little bit lost. I am getting tired of scanning through online personals and sending emails that make me sound witty and exciting, only to run out of stuff to talk about after the second or so email. Amy was different in that regard. We sent those really long emails back and forth, and I thought we were on the same wavelength...

Boy, I sure am glad to be engaged and soon married... I almost forgot how tedious and annoying this whole "dating" thing can be... especially when I have no experience at all with this sort of interaction.

So I am not sure if we are going to end up at that bar tonight or not, much as I was looking forward to it... ready to enjoy a show-free Thursday for a change.

The Fiancé has been rather down today... homesickness, and his parents' inability to join him for our graduation in 2 weeks - God bless America and their visa regulations for regular Mexican folk who merely want to come to their son's graduation and maybe spend a week in the country. Sure they could make it here - at best in three months, cause that's as long as it takes for the US officials to assure themselves that this nice, hardworking, harmless Mexican couple will duly make it back again south of the border after their little vacation.

I can really understand why he is so upset... but at the same time I also want him to enjoy our graduation for what it is, when the day comes. I am not sure how or if I can help him to do that, but even though his parents won't be able to share this day with him, I want him to remember it as a nice one, surrounded by his best friends, his extended family... and his new family: his future wife, future parents-in-law, and future sister-in-law.

I almost feel guilty that my entire family is able to make it to my graduation all the way from Europe, when his cannot even cross the border from the neighboring country. I know nobody and nothing can replace the proud smile of a parent. It breaks my heart, but the only thing I can really do is to show him that he is welcomed and a part of my family now... meager of an attempt it may be. It's all I can offer... and of course to be there for him while he is feeling so bad these days. And I don't think clubbing with gay folk is what's on his mind right now.

My poor love. :(

Ha!

Started an email conversation with another fingerlickin' cute girl living here in LA... and The Fiancé and I have a "date" at that gay bar we went to a few ago this Thursday... because the show we were supposed to play that night was supposed to happen at the venue that got temporarily shut down by the city.

Ha!

Oh, and Amy? Emailed me today with a bunch of excuses... one of which being that one of her best friend's brother passed away, which is why she won't have much time this week. I really don't wanna be a bitch, but at this point I try not to care too much, or try to second guess whether or not she's telling the truth. I really don't have any reason to assume that she's not... other than my goddamn paranoia and my fear that people who meet me once never ever want to have anything to do with me anymore. I liked that she emailed me back, though.

...has its newest and biggest fan.

Yeah, I finally got to rent the first DVD of Season 1, and got insta-hooked. And no, that is not just because of all the explicit lesbo-make-out action, even though I have to say it did make me regret that we have no cable. It's a really great show, with very lovable and (almost) believable characters, and if anything, it inspires me to be more bold and active myself.

It's funny because in a way I can totally identify with Dana: insecure, equipped with not even a hint of a gaydar, not quite ready to openly show what I am in public, yet desperate to get laid by a girl lol. And when Marina followed Jenny into the bathroom and started kissing her right there? It made me realize that this is exactly what I want: an experienced woman who has the hots for me and isn't too shy to boldy approach me, and won't give up on me either. Because let's face it... at the pace and the way I am going, I'll never get laid by a girl in this lifetime.

Any takers?

Oh, and Amy? I am not sure what's up. I am not second guessing either, or desperately waiting by the phone, or keep on checking my emails. I just sent her a nice but to-the-point one liner, pretty much letting her know to tell me whether or not she wants to stay in touch. If not, that's cool with me. I would be a bit disappointed because I found her really nice and fun and cute - but I know from experience how a real-life encounter can change whatever image we might have created over the internet or the phone, and if I am not her type, then I am not her type. I won't get all hung up or depressed over it, and won't take it personal, either. She doesn't even know me. It's all good, either way.

So she did call alright. Asked me when our show started, and that she'd be there. So I informed her on the exact time, location, and driving directions - and guess what happened:

Yeah - she didn't show up.

No phone call or text message either.

Hey... I am good at taking hints... but if that's the case she shouldn't have bothered calling and asking in the first place.

Still no call back... show's in three hours. Bummed out. :(

The show? Got cancelled. Why? Issues with the city that are not relevant to this blog at all. What is relevant however is that when I text-messaged Amy (yes, such is her name) about this, and she called my back right away, telling me that she was just on her way out of work, and about to just throw on some clothes and be on her way to our show.

Awwe. :)

She then (shyly?) asked me if I had anything else planned now for the rest of that evening, and in a spur of sudden braveness I said that no, in fact I hadn't. She suggested coffee, I agreed.

You see, since we are currently "officially homeless" for a few days due to our termite problem in the house and the correlating fumigation action going on there as I type, we are currently staying at The Ex's house, which just happens to be only 10 minutes away from where she lives.

(Can you imagine the weirdness of having my fiance and my ex stay together at the same house, getting along, while I go out on a date with a girl? Savor the thought, you'll hardly encounter something more whack.)

So I dropped off The Fiance, and off I went. Still all decked out for stage. Nervous. Not really sure what the hell I was doing. Or why. We met at the parking lot of a Ralph's at an intersection just a block down of where she lives. A parking lot. Uh-huh. But the way I saw it there really wasn't much of an alternative: she just moved there and didn't know the area well, and I don't live there, so I have even less of a clue. Just play it by ear, was my ingenious plan.

So I get there, out of my car, and wait. I knew what sort of car she was driving, so I looked out for that. So finally there comes a car that could have been the model she was driving, but I didn't wear my glasses and it was dark, so I couldn't tell. I look in, and my heart sunk. The ugliest woman I have seen for a while sits in there... way too old too... steering in my direction. OH NO! I know people sometimes put photos of other people up on their profiles... how could I have falled prey to such a person? I was just about ready to jump back into the car (maybe she didn't see me?), when suddenly right behind her another car pulls up, with a pretty girl inside of it, grinning at me from behind the wheel.

Phew.

Okay... so yes, it was awkward. A parking lot is NOT a good meeting point for a first coffee date, especially not at 11 at night, when almost nothing in this city is open anymore. So we stood around for a while, thinking abot what to do, until I suggested for her to just drop off her car where she lives, and to drive around in mine looking for a place that would still serve us coffee.

Now, let me tell you. She is very pretty. Not drop-dead gorgeous, not even beautiful, but very cute and pretty. Beautiful smile. She is not as tall as me, but not too short either, even though that was a bit hard to judge, considering I was still stomping around in my stage boots that make me about 6"1' or 2'. She was wearing her brown hair pulled back in a pony tail, no make up, a tank top, jeans and flip-flops. A nice necklace. And her black toenail-polish was chipping off around the edges. I found this rather endearing, because that same afternoon I found myself worrying about my own toenail polish, which is currently engaging in some heavy chipping as well... and I thought about what a shitty impression I would leave, would I be wearing sandals.

Anyway... in total contrast to her I was wearing these darned boots, black pants, a back/red corset type thing, and my fake-leather matrix coat, with half a pound of paint in my face, and my geled (is that a word?) hair sticking off of my head in all sorts of directions. I felt a bit silly.

When we settled down outside this Cyber Cafe that featured a bunch of pimply geeks with greasy hair engaging in a LAN party of sorts, each with a coffee in our hands, I giggled nervously and told her that I usually don't dress up like that.

Overall I think I did a lot of nervous giggling, and I told her that I felt a bit awkward, but she just laughed. We had a nice conversation considering we just met for the first time, and despite my nervousness and awkward feelings about being on a "date" with a girl, I had a really nice time. She seemed to be reasonably entertained as well... and when I dropped her off at her place about an hour later (- hey, it was a weekday), she grinned and said: "So... I will talk with you tomorrow... or on Saturday!" and left with a smile.

Well. She said she was definitely going to come to our show tonight. I had a very stressful day yesterday, so all I could do was shoot her a text message late at night... and now it's in the middle of the afternoon on Saturday, and I haven't heard from her yet.

Maybe she wasn't so entertained afterall?

I guess time will tell... I definietly would like to see her again... but such is the world of "dating"... you never know what impression you left with the other person, no matter what they might tell you, until you find out whether they call you back or not. I have told guys I had no intention of ever seeing again "let's definitely stay in touch" before, so I know. Or maybe she's waiting for me to call her, and is having similar thoughts? I mean... with girl-boy dates it is traditionally the guy who calls back... but how is such a thing handled in girl-girl dates? Or am I just worrying too much?

I guess I should just carry on as usual, and see what happens. I am proud of myself though for not chickening out. I thought she was a really nice girl on first contact.

So I am just here, idly changing the strings of my bass, smiling to myself about the phone call that I just received, informing me that she is planning on coming to tonight's show if she gets out from work early enough... and that if she won't be able to make it she will for sure on Saturday.

Picture me excited yet content. :)

She didn't call me... but when we were at the Casino where we were performing that night I shot her a text message, just a quick "how are you doing".

She messaged me back about 3 minutes after that, I messaged her back, and about an hour after that, while I was sitting in the backstage dressing room, already almost midnight, I feel the phone vibrating in my pocket, and it's her. :)

Wooo! I really couldn't talk with her much though, because the reception there was horrible and she kept on breaking up, plus at that time we thought we'd have to be on stage in a few minutes... but I did get to learn that she totalled her car earlier that day... some jerk crashed into her... thankfully she is okay though.

What's with me and girls who crash their cars? Remember when I talked about when Jo got rear-ended on her way to one of our shows? (I would link to that entry, but since I am on Blogger now as opposed to my own domain I haven't quite figured out the link-back function yet, if any.)

Okay, so I am chicken shit though, afterall. I promised her I would call her yesterday... but then I guess I got a case of cold feet, and I spent the entire afternoon sleeping off my fatigue instead (which was direly needed anyways), and then went to catch a movie with The Fiancé.

Hey... it's still all very scary to me, okay? I am so proud of myself for even talking with her on the phone, I think I am allowed some heeby-jeebies when it comes to an actual meeting, m'kay?

Today though, today is another day. I woke up way too early for a Sunday, so I got up and first thing I did was to shoot her a text message, saying for her to call me whenever she wakes up to see if we can do something today. I have the beach in mind, it's a very nice and sunny day (so far).

Well... no call back yet, but I am positive that if she has time and wants to go, she'll call me. And if not that's okay, too. I have a lot of Work™ to do anyways.

Feeling good about myself, though. Some sort of progress is happening, and maybe I am really close to step from theory into real life experience. Exciting. :)

So my ingenious plan of anonymity simply by putting this blog into a subdirectory of the domain that everybody and their mothers are aware of wasn't so ingenious afterall. StatCounter revealed one long 2 hour visit from my home country... and that scared me enough to delete the whole thing and resort to the true anonymity of Blogger.

So there. All archives imported... and unfortunately all previous comments are lost to the public now. There are still a few minor design glitches that I am working on, so bear with me. Thank you for emailing me for the URL update, thank you for your interest.

And inbetween sweating buckets over any of my Austrian acquaintances having possibly found my and uncovered my ingenious cover of the subdirectory (*rolls eyes at self*), a whole lot has happened.

What's more amazing for you to know... that my sister and I came out to each other today over IM, and that it wasn't awkward at all, and that I wasn't the least bit surprised that she is "of my kind" as well?

Or that last night one of the girls I've been emailing with actually called me?

Yeah, let's talk about that, because I am still amazed. :)

Of course I left my cell phone in the car so that's where it was when I received her call. She left me a message. A long message. She sounds really nice, and something in the way she talks reminds me of the way Jo talks... (ugh).

Anyways. I was all giddy listening to her message, informing me that she was waiting on a friend's phone call on which was depending on whether or not she would come and watch me perform at our Cinco de Mayo show last night. I let the Fiancé listen to it, and he was all smiles and proud of me, and I got so edgy for him to finally finish listening to it, that I almost yanked the phone from his hands the second he was done, and called her number without even giving it a second thought.

Need I remind you that I am phonophobic, and avoid calling people at all costs, even if I know and befriend them?`

Yeah.

She picked up. We talked. The Fiancé grinned. I was elated.

We ended our short conversation with her promising that she would call me back as soon as she would know about her friend... and in the end she did call and left me another message, sounding a bit bummed out because apparently her friend never called, and she waiting around for that phone call too long, and by then it was too late for her to come.

I was a bit bummed out, sure... I would have liked to meet her. But the way she talked on the second message left no doubt that she wasn't just flaking out, but really still wanted to meet me sometime, and she suggested the weekend, mayhaps. I emailed her back today, suggesting tonight's show...

She said on her first message that she had already made plans for Friday before, but that they weren't 100% sure yet. So I am patiently waiting it out. If it's anything like yesterday, she will call me around 7:30pm. This time I plan on picking up... really. ;)

Ok, first of all: no, I didn't end up going to that L-Word party afterall. I am upset over it, and relieved at the same time. I guess "sociophobia" is not that easy to overcome, afterall. But really the reason is much more simple and straightforward than that: the party was supposed to start at 6:30pm, and I didn't come home from our show at the Rose Bowl until the middle of the afternoon, and by that time I had one gig in San Diego the night before under my belt, a huge show in Pasadena, and was functioning on about 3 or 4 hours of sleep. We came home, ordered pizza, and then I went straight to bed and knocked out. I don't think I could have gone even if I really would have my mind set on it 100%.

I emailed the girl the day after and apologized for flaking out. Next time I'll go, I promise.

Now, about "coming out".

Last night I found myself in a 2 hour phone conversation with one of my best (girl) friends. She moved to San Diego last year, so we kinda got out of touch a bit, but she's coming back to LA next week, and I am really excited. So we talked. Like we haven't for the longest time. It felt really good, especially considering that I hate talking on the phone so much, lol. I am always complaining about having no girlfriend around me to talk to, and The Fiancé is always complaining about much the same thing. He always tells me I need an outlet other than him, and I always answer him that he's full of shit, that I don't need anyone to talk with. Here's the point where I publically admit that yes, he was right. There is nothing quite like just talking and talking and talking and talking... I think I just completely forgot about how good that feels because I haven't done it for such a long time.

I think the last time I was one the phone with a friend other than my partner for 2 hours was in high school.

We talked way past midnight, and I didn't even notice it. :)

Anyway.

She brought up that she thinks I have changed a whole lot ever since she saw me coming to the US almost three years ago. I thought that statement was interesting, so we got a bit more into detail on it, and then all of a sudden it happened: I said "Well, part of that is that recently I have figured out some things about me that I kind of didn't pay so much attention to before, but are now a huge part of what I am..."

She said: "What's that?"

Uh-oh... laid myself an egg right there, lol. Sweat starts forming on my forehead. What to do? WHAT TO DO???

And the next thing I know, I said to her: "Well, I have figured out that I really love women."

Just like that. It just slipped out, and no bolt of lightnig came from the sky and struck me down right on the spot.

On the contrary. She didn't even skip a beat, there was no weird pause, nothing. She just went on about how cool that was, and then wanted to know all about it.

*blink*

That was easy!

Of course I probally shouldn't have felt apprehensive about telling her in the first place. I don't know why I did. I guess it's because we've always been really close and huggy-feely with each other, and I didn't want her to feel weirded out, maybe. At any rate, I felt like I sprouted wings right there, right after I told her and she was so cool about it. It put me on a total high. And of course it's one more person to check off on my list. :)

Then I gave her the link to this here blog. Is it going to be weird to have one of my best friends read all this? You betcha. This is probally more than she ever wanted to know about me, and she will probally scream and wash out her eyes with soap when she comes to the juicy details I sometimes can't help but post about The Fiancé and I, but to me that's all part of my big master plan of letting the world know, and standing for who and what I am.

Yes, I feel proud of myself today. :)

Also two other girls who I have been in electronic contact with have gotten back to me today, and they were so sweet and cute, they really made my day, too. A couple more emails back and forth and maybe I'll have the ovaries to suggest a meeting. Heck, I feel so good today... maybe I'll take the bull by the horns and invite one of them to our Cinco de Mayo show tomorrow...