Tuesday, June 13, 2006
Wedding Woes
I wake up with borderline-stomach cramps almost every morning now. I'd interpret it as a little bit of anxiety, if it wouldn't be so ridiculous. I lay awake in bed 2 hours before I should be getting up, turning this way and that, feeling my stomach churning up inside, and my mind going at 300mp/h, worrying about... well, everything.
Why? The answer is 13. 13 weeks until our wedding... 13 weeks during which we still have to do so much work, so many preparations, so much organization. Some of which being pretty fundamental: a document is still missing for me to get married to my foreigner, and the local officials can't figure out how Mexicans pass down names to their wives, and I am faced with the possibility of having to take on a double name - which I don't want for anything in the world.
13 weeks before - and we don't have the name issue settled, and we don't have our official to conduct the ceremony for us because of the missing documents.
Not to mention that all the invitations are still not out yet - which shouldn't worry me so much because we are talking about overseas invitations for people that don't have the money to come anyway. We don't have the music for the ceremony figured out yet. We don't have the decorations figured out. We don't have the translator figured out. Our wedding website isn't finished. We haven't scheduled dancing classes yet. NOTHING is on schedule.
My future mother-in-law just got the measurements for my dress that she is going to taylor for me a couple of days ago, and I toss and turn with worries that my wedding gown will be just like I always dreamed it to be - without having any influence on it at all, considering it's being made 6000 miles away. I sent her a picture of my dream dress which I tried on in the store, along with a drawing and detailed descriptions and instructions. Yet I am aware that whatever beautiful work she does, the dress will NOT be the one I tried on and fell in love with in the store. I am worried sick that I will not like my dress, even though it's not likely, but that there'll be nothing to be done about it, because it was such a special gift made especially for me. I am worried sick that I will try it on when she comes here, and I will look at myself in the mirror and will start to cry with disappointment - all the while being well aware that she and her mother and sister are professional taylors with a lot of experience, who have done wedding dresses countless times before.
I have just done a count of people likely to come, and realized that instead of the calculated 80-100 people, there will be, at best, a maximum of 65. I have nightmares of people not showing up at all almost every night.
One of my closest friends has cancelled on me, because he's in love with me and cannot bear to see me wed.
And countless little details... issues at the side, things not pertaining to the wedding: money worries, work stress, my emotional turmoil over my friend, the budding friendship with Girl.MD.
I am now just wishing it'd already be the last two weeks of August, where nothing but little details need to be taken care of, and we can otherwise just enjoy ourselves and look forward to the wedding, and the upcoming honeymoon.
Or... the day before the wedding, even! With the dreaded bachelorette party already behind me and slept off, and the big exciting day still ahead of me, along with our long trip to Mexico.
I never thought it'd be like this to go through the wedding preps. I always thought this special time will have to be appreciated, savored, every second enjoyed. Life should be shrouded in a pink gleam right now, and The Fiancé and I should be floating and beaming and blowing kisses at each other in loving anticipation. It's not like I am complaining... I love this time, I just never expected it to be so stressful.
Friday we will try to get the name issue resolved at the Mexican embassy, we will go look at rings, and we will try to set up a meeting with the DJ we reserved for our reception. Thursday is a holiday, and I took a day off on Friday... so at least I'll have some four days to refocus, collect myself, and try to relax a bit.
Why? The answer is 13. 13 weeks until our wedding... 13 weeks during which we still have to do so much work, so many preparations, so much organization. Some of which being pretty fundamental: a document is still missing for me to get married to my foreigner, and the local officials can't figure out how Mexicans pass down names to their wives, and I am faced with the possibility of having to take on a double name - which I don't want for anything in the world.
13 weeks before - and we don't have the name issue settled, and we don't have our official to conduct the ceremony for us because of the missing documents.
Not to mention that all the invitations are still not out yet - which shouldn't worry me so much because we are talking about overseas invitations for people that don't have the money to come anyway. We don't have the music for the ceremony figured out yet. We don't have the decorations figured out. We don't have the translator figured out. Our wedding website isn't finished. We haven't scheduled dancing classes yet. NOTHING is on schedule.
My future mother-in-law just got the measurements for my dress that she is going to taylor for me a couple of days ago, and I toss and turn with worries that my wedding gown will be just like I always dreamed it to be - without having any influence on it at all, considering it's being made 6000 miles away. I sent her a picture of my dream dress which I tried on in the store, along with a drawing and detailed descriptions and instructions. Yet I am aware that whatever beautiful work she does, the dress will NOT be the one I tried on and fell in love with in the store. I am worried sick that I will not like my dress, even though it's not likely, but that there'll be nothing to be done about it, because it was such a special gift made especially for me. I am worried sick that I will try it on when she comes here, and I will look at myself in the mirror and will start to cry with disappointment - all the while being well aware that she and her mother and sister are professional taylors with a lot of experience, who have done wedding dresses countless times before.
I have just done a count of people likely to come, and realized that instead of the calculated 80-100 people, there will be, at best, a maximum of 65. I have nightmares of people not showing up at all almost every night.
One of my closest friends has cancelled on me, because he's in love with me and cannot bear to see me wed.
And countless little details... issues at the side, things not pertaining to the wedding: money worries, work stress, my emotional turmoil over my friend, the budding friendship with Girl.MD.
I am now just wishing it'd already be the last two weeks of August, where nothing but little details need to be taken care of, and we can otherwise just enjoy ourselves and look forward to the wedding, and the upcoming honeymoon.
Or... the day before the wedding, even! With the dreaded bachelorette party already behind me and slept off, and the big exciting day still ahead of me, along with our long trip to Mexico.
I never thought it'd be like this to go through the wedding preps. I always thought this special time will have to be appreciated, savored, every second enjoyed. Life should be shrouded in a pink gleam right now, and The Fiancé and I should be floating and beaming and blowing kisses at each other in loving anticipation. It's not like I am complaining... I love this time, I just never expected it to be so stressful.
Friday we will try to get the name issue resolved at the Mexican embassy, we will go look at rings, and we will try to set up a meeting with the DJ we reserved for our reception. Thursday is a holiday, and I took a day off on Friday... so at least I'll have some four days to refocus, collect myself, and try to relax a bit.
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I'll come and help make up the numbers.
Um. Somehow. *looks at bank account* Maybe if I whore myself off for a couple of months.
Um. Somehow. *looks at bank account* Maybe if I whore myself off for a couple of months.
Having assisted at some of my closest friends weddings the only advice that seems to work is, don't hang up too much on details. The ceremony can never be the perfect thing you imagine, it is impossible, and only people that really matter and need to attend on the day are the two of you.
So you may have 65 people instead of 100, ok that means less mouths to feed and more money put towards the honeymoon.
Look at the good thing you're marrying an amazing man that you love who loves you back just as intensly.
Enjoy that cake.
So you may have 65 people instead of 100, ok that means less mouths to feed and more money put towards the honeymoon.
Look at the good thing you're marrying an amazing man that you love who loves you back just as intensly.
Enjoy that cake.
*hugs* I'm still trying to figure out if I can make it, due to financial issues. Ty is going to keep me in the loop, bless that man!
I'm sure everything will turn out for the best. Best of luck with everything!
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I'm sure everything will turn out for the best. Best of luck with everything!
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: 3:12 PM
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