Tuesday, May 09, 2006
Fat Bottomed Girl
So The Fiancé's on his way to my dad's workshop as I type to start my process of fat-burning and shaping up. Today he'll strip my ugly bike of its paint, after he assessed it to be an otherwise quite good bike on Saturday. The paint, however, is just laughter-inducing, I swear. I should have done a before-and-after pic, but I didn't think of it when I had a chance to. But there are still OLD, OLD pictures of my 14-year-old self on that thing in existence though... for a good giggle on not only the bike, but myself too. I think on the particular picture I am having in mind I am wearing neon-pink plastic shades from McDonald's... just fitting to go with my neon green bike... OY VEY!
Anyway. He'll be busy sanding it off today, and taking it all apart. Oiling the breaks, the chain, the gears... maybe my dad has already bought new tires. When we had a good look at it last Saturday, I realized just how bad of a shape it really is in. I guess it's true what they say about mechanical pieces not being used deteriorating really badly. My bike currently sports two flats that no aripump in this world could fix, cause the rubber of the tire is old and dry and porose like tree bark. If I tried to pump them up and then use the bike, they'd probably explode on me. The breaks squeak like a door that hasn't been oiled in a good half century. Where the dynamo that generates electricity for my lights should be there is nothing but a chewed off cable dangling away. The list goes on and on. The Fiancé's given me a list of suggestions for improvement besides the obvious need for fixing, and we have settled on a nice burgundy-black combination for the new look. Not to mention the heavily gel-padded saddle for my sorry ass. My current (neon green with black sprinkles!) saddle is hard and narrow enough to ride up my asscrack the second I sit down on it, and it was hard to deal with even when I was in shape and used to it.
Me, I am psyching myself out to really go through with my plans for fitness this time. Seeing as I am a quitter at the first sign of inconvenience, and a lazy ass who likes her chocolate and couch way too much as well, I really need a mental plan to go through with this. So I am visualizing myself on my bike when I drive to and from work every day. I imagine the errands I could run with my bike other than work, which friends I can visit that are within biking range, how I will save myself the pain staking process of looking for parking around my apartment, how much gas money I will save. I go on the internet and look at bike routes and specially marked bike paths on my way to work, trying to figure out the shortest connection. I try to imagine the calories I will be burning, and how my thighs will respond to this treatment, and I feel positive and excited about how I will look in my wedding dress. I reveled in the pain of the sore muscles I got from the fistball game last weekend, and tried to visualize my fatrolls melting. I tried to imagine my body all toned and nice... and these kinds of thoughts are making the pain I will experience a little easier to bear in my mind.
30 minutes of moderate biking burns about 300-400 calories. Going to and from work will be approximately 2 hours of easy-moderate biking for me a day... so we're talking about approximately 800 calories a day, 5 times a week. Considering what I shove into my piehole on a daily basis, the difference should be noticable quite soon, even if I don't change anything about my eating habits. Not to mention the circumference of my thighs and stomach that I am hoping to lose. My BMI is currently at 25, which isn't out of range, but really at the uppermost level before I can call myself life-impairingly overweight. I don't want it to get out of hand, and I wanna feel good about myself again when I look into the mirror, and not have my eyes magically be drawn to my nether regions all the time, where the fat and the cellulite live quite comfortably.
As long as I keep these positive thoughts present in my mind, it will be easier to go through the pain until my body is used to activity again. I really don't wanna end up a lazy and fat blob on my couch who fondly remembers the days of when I still had the build of a model - which I actually did... some long summers ago.
Now, to keep myself from calling The Fiancé every half hour to inquire about the progress... lol.
Anyway. He'll be busy sanding it off today, and taking it all apart. Oiling the breaks, the chain, the gears... maybe my dad has already bought new tires. When we had a good look at it last Saturday, I realized just how bad of a shape it really is in. I guess it's true what they say about mechanical pieces not being used deteriorating really badly. My bike currently sports two flats that no aripump in this world could fix, cause the rubber of the tire is old and dry and porose like tree bark. If I tried to pump them up and then use the bike, they'd probably explode on me. The breaks squeak like a door that hasn't been oiled in a good half century. Where the dynamo that generates electricity for my lights should be there is nothing but a chewed off cable dangling away. The list goes on and on. The Fiancé's given me a list of suggestions for improvement besides the obvious need for fixing, and we have settled on a nice burgundy-black combination for the new look. Not to mention the heavily gel-padded saddle for my sorry ass. My current (neon green with black sprinkles!) saddle is hard and narrow enough to ride up my asscrack the second I sit down on it, and it was hard to deal with even when I was in shape and used to it.
Me, I am psyching myself out to really go through with my plans for fitness this time. Seeing as I am a quitter at the first sign of inconvenience, and a lazy ass who likes her chocolate and couch way too much as well, I really need a mental plan to go through with this. So I am visualizing myself on my bike when I drive to and from work every day. I imagine the errands I could run with my bike other than work, which friends I can visit that are within biking range, how I will save myself the pain staking process of looking for parking around my apartment, how much gas money I will save. I go on the internet and look at bike routes and specially marked bike paths on my way to work, trying to figure out the shortest connection. I try to imagine the calories I will be burning, and how my thighs will respond to this treatment, and I feel positive and excited about how I will look in my wedding dress. I reveled in the pain of the sore muscles I got from the fistball game last weekend, and tried to visualize my fatrolls melting. I tried to imagine my body all toned and nice... and these kinds of thoughts are making the pain I will experience a little easier to bear in my mind.
30 minutes of moderate biking burns about 300-400 calories. Going to and from work will be approximately 2 hours of easy-moderate biking for me a day... so we're talking about approximately 800 calories a day, 5 times a week. Considering what I shove into my piehole on a daily basis, the difference should be noticable quite soon, even if I don't change anything about my eating habits. Not to mention the circumference of my thighs and stomach that I am hoping to lose. My BMI is currently at 25, which isn't out of range, but really at the uppermost level before I can call myself life-impairingly overweight. I don't want it to get out of hand, and I wanna feel good about myself again when I look into the mirror, and not have my eyes magically be drawn to my nether regions all the time, where the fat and the cellulite live quite comfortably.
As long as I keep these positive thoughts present in my mind, it will be easier to go through the pain until my body is used to activity again. I really don't wanna end up a lazy and fat blob on my couch who fondly remembers the days of when I still had the build of a model - which I actually did... some long summers ago.
Now, to keep myself from calling The Fiancé every half hour to inquire about the progress... lol.
