Wow, has it been almost 2 months already?

As you can probably imagine, my life has been hectically crazy ever since our move, filled with acclimatisations, readjustments, introductions, re-acquaintances, catching-ups, job searches. To go into detail on all of these things would be tedious and most likely boring for you, dear reader, so I'll leave it at the following:

The Fiancé and I now live in a small apartment in the city, one that took some energy and effort to make comfortable and cozy, but is now starting to be something I really refer to as "home". The first couple of weeks were a bit rough between him and I once his first relocation shock was over and the readjustment period began, along with some changes and shiftings of the roles him and I have assumed during the last two years of our relationship.

Despite the incredibly bad job situation currently here in my country, I managed to find a job the third week after I really started to look for one, and luckily for me it is something I truly enjoy doing – the exact thing I went to college for, and which I was hoping to do one day. I work in a small graphic design/foto studio, small meaning: it's the boss and me and nobody else, where I am alone in the office most of the time, backing up the boss when he is out on tour all across the country with his photograph slideshows. In other words, I went from "wifey" to main provider for two people – just like that. Imagine the adjustments necessary in my own head.

Mostly due to the incredible amounts of overtime I currently have to put in, and also because payday won't be before October 1st (– and so despite my insane hours at work I am still depending on my parents), we are quite limited in the things we can do, so I can also report no news on the bi-front. I considered coming out to my best friend K, but I didn't get very much past "I have smoked weed before, and guess what – I love it, and do it regularly". K has never been drunk, never ever tried a puff of smoke of anything – and the look on her face made me realize that maybe change needs to be revealed in small doses. Next time I will tell her that I have recently been known to get senselessly drunk to the point of memory lapses, maybe? Bisexuality can wait. It just surprises me to see how coming back to my old home makes me fall back into so many old patterns again automatically – worrying about what people will think or say about me being just one of them.

As a mental note to myself... I need to take care that I will always carry the "dude" inside me, no matter where I am, or by who I am surrounded.

I have also met with two people, a guitarist and a keyboarder, who are looking for a bass player and a drummer. I jammed with them for a bit, and it was some decent entertainment for myself, but it made all my carefully suppressed thoughts and memories of my band and of what could have been come back at me with a vengeance. I parted from these two guys and left my phone number with them in case they would need me for a show, but didn't explicitly offer any more of my time. Now Mr. E is here as well... having come after my sister... and I will have to look and see if he would want to play with me again, maybe start something together. I also contacted a relative of mine, my cousin who put the thought of learning to play the guitar into my head 11 years ago, back in high school which we both went to. He has since developed some mean guitar skills, and has been playing in bands pretty much ever since he knew how to hold a guitar the right way. To my surprise he actually got back to me, after almost a decade of barely any contact, suggesting we should meet, and maybe I would be interested in founding a Metallica cover band with him, for shits and giggles.

So you see... this is not my beloved Los Angeles, and I am homesick for it to the point of frequent tears, but things are not looking bad, right now. Once October comes, I will be financially stable, if not well, for the first time ever since I headed for the USA three and a half years ago, and this prospect makes me feel so much more of a valuable and respectable member of society. I am not wasting time anymore – at least this is my take on it, to avoid too many melancholy and sad thoughts about Los Angeles.

I will update this blog more frequently and regularly now that things have calmed down a little – though I am considering yet another change of URL. If I choose to do so, I will keep those of you interested in the loop of things, certainly. I will also get back to reading YOUR blogs now that I am around again. I hope all of you have been and are well.