Friday, June 17, 2005
Love...
I have just spend some time standing in the middle of our bedroom, right next to the bed, watching The Fiancé sleep. He's not been feeling so well lately, and he's working a lot, so he allowed himself some lazy time this afternoon, and fell asleep promptly.
He has no idea that I was standing there watching him sleep. He just lay there, so innocent, so beautiful, so unaware that he was being watched. He tends to pose as soon as he knows that he is under "surveillance", so this was almost a rare opportunity.
I was in there to wake him up and ask him to help me clean up the huge mess that our house currently is, so it would look nice when our guests come over tonight, but when I saw him there, I couldn't get myself to do that. He looked so peaceful, his handsome face so relaxed, no worry-frowns on his lips, no tired looks in his eyes. I smiled at that one strand of hair that was falling into his forhead, and admired the many shades of color that naturally shades his goatee and large side burns with many interesting hues. People have commented on this often, asking him if he actually dyes his beard, but the person hasn't been born yet who could do such an intricate and detailed dye-job. He always laughs when people say that, but I know that he likes it when people notice it. His hair it pitch-black, but by the time it reaches his cheeks, it is almost red. I noticed how neatly trimmed his beard and side burns were, and how neatly shaven his face was, and how much I like men who take the time to actually take care of themselves and their appearance like that. I admired his long dark eyelashes that give his large dark brown eyes a soft look, his beautiful soft lips, they way he had his hands folded underneath his head, resting on them. His huge leather-bound wristwatch and the broad metal-clad leather wristband on his other arm, which I both find so irresistable. His long and slender fingers, his neatly trimmed fingernails, the dark hair on his arms that's just the right amount between bald and monkey. A little bit of his wide chest poking out from his t-shirt, his long legs on top of each other, his huge thighs and scrawny calves, the typical shape of an (ex-) runner, ending in his feet that were stuck in white tennis socks that had a hole on his heel. That made me smile... otherwise so meticulous and well-kempt, he never cares if his socks match with the rest of his outfit, or if they have holes in them - and they almost always do.
I watched his sleeping chest move calmly and regularly up and down, and up and down, and then it struck me that if this chest would ever stop moving, if he'd ever stop looking at me with these beautiful dark eyes, or never kiss me again with these full and soft lips, if anything would ever take this man away from me, if I ever had to be separated from him, or go on without him, could never bury my face in his neck anymore and soak in his wonderful scent and feel his strong arms around me, I don't think I could. I don't think I could live one day without him, I don't even know how I could survive for 24 years before he came into my life. He is the most important person in my Universe, the most beautiful soul and the most gentle character I ever had the honor to meet, and I am the most fortunate woman to have gained his attention and have kept him with me for over 2 years, and hopefully for the rest of my entire life.
I wanted to kneel down next to the bed and touch his face, and his hair, and whisper into his ear how much I love him and how much he means to me, but I was afraid I would disturb his slumber, no matter how gentle I would be. So I just smiled, my heart soaring to the sky, and I left him to his dreams... but in my heart I know that I have never ever loved any one person so much and so completely and so unconditionally the way I love this man. I am one of those few fortunate people who know that they have found their soulmate, their One, and my getting married to this man will be the climax of my whole life so far. I cannot wait to be honored with his name, and I will carry it as my own with pride and love. He is the love of my life, and if I would die today, I would know that I have lived my life to its fullest, because I had him to live it with...
He has no idea that I was standing there watching him sleep. He just lay there, so innocent, so beautiful, so unaware that he was being watched. He tends to pose as soon as he knows that he is under "surveillance", so this was almost a rare opportunity.
I was in there to wake him up and ask him to help me clean up the huge mess that our house currently is, so it would look nice when our guests come over tonight, but when I saw him there, I couldn't get myself to do that. He looked so peaceful, his handsome face so relaxed, no worry-frowns on his lips, no tired looks in his eyes. I smiled at that one strand of hair that was falling into his forhead, and admired the many shades of color that naturally shades his goatee and large side burns with many interesting hues. People have commented on this often, asking him if he actually dyes his beard, but the person hasn't been born yet who could do such an intricate and detailed dye-job. He always laughs when people say that, but I know that he likes it when people notice it. His hair it pitch-black, but by the time it reaches his cheeks, it is almost red. I noticed how neatly trimmed his beard and side burns were, and how neatly shaven his face was, and how much I like men who take the time to actually take care of themselves and their appearance like that. I admired his long dark eyelashes that give his large dark brown eyes a soft look, his beautiful soft lips, they way he had his hands folded underneath his head, resting on them. His huge leather-bound wristwatch and the broad metal-clad leather wristband on his other arm, which I both find so irresistable. His long and slender fingers, his neatly trimmed fingernails, the dark hair on his arms that's just the right amount between bald and monkey. A little bit of his wide chest poking out from his t-shirt, his long legs on top of each other, his huge thighs and scrawny calves, the typical shape of an (ex-) runner, ending in his feet that were stuck in white tennis socks that had a hole on his heel. That made me smile... otherwise so meticulous and well-kempt, he never cares if his socks match with the rest of his outfit, or if they have holes in them - and they almost always do.
I watched his sleeping chest move calmly and regularly up and down, and up and down, and then it struck me that if this chest would ever stop moving, if he'd ever stop looking at me with these beautiful dark eyes, or never kiss me again with these full and soft lips, if anything would ever take this man away from me, if I ever had to be separated from him, or go on without him, could never bury my face in his neck anymore and soak in his wonderful scent and feel his strong arms around me, I don't think I could. I don't think I could live one day without him, I don't even know how I could survive for 24 years before he came into my life. He is the most important person in my Universe, the most beautiful soul and the most gentle character I ever had the honor to meet, and I am the most fortunate woman to have gained his attention and have kept him with me for over 2 years, and hopefully for the rest of my entire life.
I wanted to kneel down next to the bed and touch his face, and his hair, and whisper into his ear how much I love him and how much he means to me, but I was afraid I would disturb his slumber, no matter how gentle I would be. So I just smiled, my heart soaring to the sky, and I left him to his dreams... but in my heart I know that I have never ever loved any one person so much and so completely and so unconditionally the way I love this man. I am one of those few fortunate people who know that they have found their soulmate, their One, and my getting married to this man will be the climax of my whole life so far. I cannot wait to be honored with his name, and I will carry it as my own with pride and love. He is the love of my life, and if I would die today, I would know that I have lived my life to its fullest, because I had him to live it with...
