Saturday, February 05, 2005
I am nervous!
But I guess I am not to blame... show me one person who isn't right before a gig. 3 hours until showtime, and instead of blogging, I should probably already be in the shower, and slapping on more makeup than I usually wear spread over one whole week. Yeah, after the shower, silly.
However... I feel like I owe this blog a Jo-update concerning this evening. Not like there's much to say, though. We left her 2 messages, she never called back, and through a phone call with The Hostess The Fiancé has found out that she probably won't be able to make it tonight, seeing as she works Saturdays and Sundays starting at 6am.
Some job with a radio station. *shrugs*
Of course being subjected to the ways of human nature, I stubbornly refuse to take this as a definite no despite all the evidence of lack of intent, and will probably spend the entire evening fantasizing about how The Hostess convinced her to come afterall, and how she will walk in in the middle of our performance. As a result I will also spend the entire evening scanning the premises for her shining beauty to brighten up my night, not giving up hope until I have played my last note. I will look for her in crowd despite my better knowledge that she won't be there (- don't you hate these battles of logic and knowledge vs. heart and hope sometimes?), and pretend all evening I am playing for her, and how I will boldly walk up to her afterwards, and ask her out on a date.
Ugh... who am I kidding. :(
I don't even understand why I am torturing myself like that over a person I have seen twice in my life, and not again since 4 months. It probably is the better alternative to never ever see her again, and to just open my eyes to all the other pretty women out there. As long as I don't stop seeing her in my mind, as long as I don't stop recalling those sapphire blue eyes into my memory, I will never be open to fully explore my own potential. Only, how hard it is to let go of the image and fantasy of the most perfect woman ever to cross your path...
However... I feel like I owe this blog a Jo-update concerning this evening. Not like there's much to say, though. We left her 2 messages, she never called back, and through a phone call with The Hostess The Fiancé has found out that she probably won't be able to make it tonight, seeing as she works Saturdays and Sundays starting at 6am.
Some job with a radio station. *shrugs*
Of course being subjected to the ways of human nature, I stubbornly refuse to take this as a definite no despite all the evidence of lack of intent, and will probably spend the entire evening fantasizing about how The Hostess convinced her to come afterall, and how she will walk in in the middle of our performance. As a result I will also spend the entire evening scanning the premises for her shining beauty to brighten up my night, not giving up hope until I have played my last note. I will look for her in crowd despite my better knowledge that she won't be there (- don't you hate these battles of logic and knowledge vs. heart and hope sometimes?), and pretend all evening I am playing for her, and how I will boldly walk up to her afterwards, and ask her out on a date.
Ugh... who am I kidding. :(
I don't even understand why I am torturing myself like that over a person I have seen twice in my life, and not again since 4 months. It probably is the better alternative to never ever see her again, and to just open my eyes to all the other pretty women out there. As long as I don't stop seeing her in my mind, as long as I don't stop recalling those sapphire blue eyes into my memory, I will never be open to fully explore my own potential. Only, how hard it is to let go of the image and fantasy of the most perfect woman ever to cross your path...
