Monday, January 24, 2005
The Art of finding a decent Piercer
I went to about 5 or 6 piercing studios yesterday in Hollywood. Asked about HCH, standard questions, really. Like: how much do they charge, can I see samples of their work (portfolio), how long does it take to heal, what do you suggest for after care?
The different kinds and amounts of answers I got from the different piercers was just maddening! The healing times ranged from 1 month to 6-8 month, prices from $75 to $100, aftercare from H2O spray to sea salt soaks to "nothing at all", and from complete sexual abstinence to "protected and clean sex is possible". Some had one or two genital piercings in their samples catalog, and some didn't even have a catalog at all!
One guy was just outright creepy... the one that told me an HCH takes up to 8 months to heal. I said "I am looking into getting a horizontal hood piercing." To which he said: "What hood?" D'uh... how many hoods on the female body do you know of, fuckwit? He also insisted that sea salt soaks beyond day 3 after getting a piercing of any kind is completely pointless and doesn't help the healing process along at all. Then he insisted that H2O spray does basically the same thing as a sea salt soak does, and that it is absolutely crucial for aftercare. Hello? Can we say contradiction here? He was perfectly unable to formulate one single sentence without the usage of at least three "likes" in there, like, you know, and stuff... and the mere thought of letting this joker anywhere near me or my privates with a sharp object of any sort just gave me the plain willies.
Another guy just kept on talking about how cool vibrating jewelry will be, once I'll have my piercing done, and that "one can't just simply abstain from sex for a while, which is why the healing process might take a bit longer".
WTF???
There was one guy... only one... who I felt comfortable enough to entrust with my girl bits. He was sensitive to what I was saying, gently informed me that a VCH would create more stimulation than an HCH, just in case I wanted to know (- which I already knew anyways - I've done my homework, but none of the other piercers made even the slightest mention of it), showed me his portfolio with all the work he's done (-including hanging people off ceilings from hooks in their backs, along with a detailed description of how much weight can be carried by one hook, and how exactly the hooks have to be distributed to carry one's entire body weight, scarification, self-amputation [*shudders*], all sorts and kinds of piercings, and various other body art involving a guy who had his eyes and mouth and nostrils sewn shut with regular thread). He showed me his APP certification, and advised me to not settle for him right away, but have a look around other piercing studios first, and get other piercers' input and advice, before deciding if or when to come back to him. He told me to watch out for some piercing studios that are just out there to draw money out of my pockets, and to be aware of non-APP-certified piercers. He gave me the URL to his website (unfortunately defunct) so I could check out more of his work, before deciding to come back or not.
I REALLY liked his attitude, and he sounds like the one who's going to get to do the job. But why is it that there are so many bullshit piercers out there, who give such drastically different information and pricing, and some that appear to be just plainly incompetent???
Exciting tidbit on the side: he has no eyebrows, a split tongue (- whose both ends can move independently... almost makes me curious as to what interesting sensation this thing could create...), holes in his earlobes so wide that I could stick an entire finger through, and various other pieces of metal in his face where I had no idea one can have pieces of metal in. He was most definitely the freakiest looking of all the piercers I went to see, and with all his knowledge of hanging people off butcher's hooks and sowing their faces shut and the likes, a simple HCH should be no challenge for a guy like that. Somehow it does sort of turn me on, even, to have a guy like that stick a needle through one of my most private parts...
The different kinds and amounts of answers I got from the different piercers was just maddening! The healing times ranged from 1 month to 6-8 month, prices from $75 to $100, aftercare from H2O spray to sea salt soaks to "nothing at all", and from complete sexual abstinence to "protected and clean sex is possible". Some had one or two genital piercings in their samples catalog, and some didn't even have a catalog at all!
One guy was just outright creepy... the one that told me an HCH takes up to 8 months to heal. I said "I am looking into getting a horizontal hood piercing." To which he said: "What hood?" D'uh... how many hoods on the female body do you know of, fuckwit? He also insisted that sea salt soaks beyond day 3 after getting a piercing of any kind is completely pointless and doesn't help the healing process along at all. Then he insisted that H2O spray does basically the same thing as a sea salt soak does, and that it is absolutely crucial for aftercare. Hello? Can we say contradiction here? He was perfectly unable to formulate one single sentence without the usage of at least three "likes" in there, like, you know, and stuff... and the mere thought of letting this joker anywhere near me or my privates with a sharp object of any sort just gave me the plain willies.
Another guy just kept on talking about how cool vibrating jewelry will be, once I'll have my piercing done, and that "one can't just simply abstain from sex for a while, which is why the healing process might take a bit longer".
WTF???
There was one guy... only one... who I felt comfortable enough to entrust with my girl bits. He was sensitive to what I was saying, gently informed me that a VCH would create more stimulation than an HCH, just in case I wanted to know (- which I already knew anyways - I've done my homework, but none of the other piercers made even the slightest mention of it), showed me his portfolio with all the work he's done (-including hanging people off ceilings from hooks in their backs, along with a detailed description of how much weight can be carried by one hook, and how exactly the hooks have to be distributed to carry one's entire body weight, scarification, self-amputation [*shudders*], all sorts and kinds of piercings, and various other body art involving a guy who had his eyes and mouth and nostrils sewn shut with regular thread). He showed me his APP certification, and advised me to not settle for him right away, but have a look around other piercing studios first, and get other piercers' input and advice, before deciding if or when to come back to him. He told me to watch out for some piercing studios that are just out there to draw money out of my pockets, and to be aware of non-APP-certified piercers. He gave me the URL to his website (unfortunately defunct) so I could check out more of his work, before deciding to come back or not.
I REALLY liked his attitude, and he sounds like the one who's going to get to do the job. But why is it that there are so many bullshit piercers out there, who give such drastically different information and pricing, and some that appear to be just plainly incompetent???
Exciting tidbit on the side: he has no eyebrows, a split tongue (- whose both ends can move independently... almost makes me curious as to what interesting sensation this thing could create...), holes in his earlobes so wide that I could stick an entire finger through, and various other pieces of metal in his face where I had no idea one can have pieces of metal in. He was most definitely the freakiest looking of all the piercers I went to see, and with all his knowledge of hanging people off butcher's hooks and sowing their faces shut and the likes, a simple HCH should be no challenge for a guy like that. Somehow it does sort of turn me on, even, to have a guy like that stick a needle through one of my most private parts...
