Thursday, November 11, 2004
Awfully quiet
...sorry 'bout that. Many things been going on in the part of my life that doesn't revolve around anything with the word "sex" in it. Hence the silence.
You see, The Fiancé got caught driving w/o a license, our car was taken away, we had to surrender it to the city in lack of the financial means to bail it out, and our boss is withholding our paychecks for shady reasons such as "I can't pay you, cause my clients owe me money". Now we have no car, no money, and a boss who interrupted the cash flow and doesn't seem like she's planning to make up for it anytime soon, while our open bills and depts are piling up on my desk.
See? None of this really wets one's panties a whole lot... maybe with the exception of my newest nightly fantasy, inspired by last week's events: The Fiancé in handcuffs and his pants down to his ankles, being forcefully pushed against a cop car by a huge, bald, black cop "roughing him up a bit" instead of taking him to jail.
And it doesn't help that he himself is making this fantasy blossom wildly in my head by throwing in the occasional tantalizing imagined detail of his own.
Urm... ahem.
That's probally more info than you bargained for, but hey... it's all part of my big scheme of coming out: it includes his bisexuality (- and I have his permission to talk about it here freely just as long as I don't give out this link to our roomies lol), and admitting to my own little dirty gay fantasies without blushing, heh.
On the coming out front there is nothing really new to report... like I said, my mind's been off these kinds of things for a while, for very urgent and attention-demanding reasons. However, as you may have noticed in the comments, I have given this link to another person other than my bi guru Ren: her name's Autumn, and I know her online for the longest time already. What is it... 4 years? 5 years? I have no clue. She's married with three kids, straight, and with strong morals and values. I have decided to be bold and just link her to here, explaining what I am trying to accomplish with this.
What she said was: "Aw shit, girl. I knew that. Or I kinda figured that, is more like it."
So that went well, heh. And certainly it counts as a step in my planned step-by-step coming out. It's just easier starting with the people who know me, but don't really know me, as is the case with online folk. :)
On the Jo front... well, that's not going so well whatsoever. Or in other words: I have dropped my little fantasies and romantic little dreams about her in a speed proportionally increasing to the chaos around me rising. There is no point to them, really. Now that we are stranded without a car and without money there is no real chance to getting to see her anytime soon anyways. She doesn't do the email thing, and I still don't have her phone number. And I already told ya what I'd do with it, even if I did have it. And she lives quite far away. And she's not interested in me.
But at any rate, she triggered this whole coming-out thing within me, and for that I am grateful, cause it was long time overdue.
You see, The Fiancé got caught driving w/o a license, our car was taken away, we had to surrender it to the city in lack of the financial means to bail it out, and our boss is withholding our paychecks for shady reasons such as "I can't pay you, cause my clients owe me money". Now we have no car, no money, and a boss who interrupted the cash flow and doesn't seem like she's planning to make up for it anytime soon, while our open bills and depts are piling up on my desk.
See? None of this really wets one's panties a whole lot... maybe with the exception of my newest nightly fantasy, inspired by last week's events: The Fiancé in handcuffs and his pants down to his ankles, being forcefully pushed against a cop car by a huge, bald, black cop "roughing him up a bit" instead of taking him to jail.
And it doesn't help that he himself is making this fantasy blossom wildly in my head by throwing in the occasional tantalizing imagined detail of his own.
Urm... ahem.
That's probally more info than you bargained for, but hey... it's all part of my big scheme of coming out: it includes his bisexuality (- and I have his permission to talk about it here freely just as long as I don't give out this link to our roomies lol), and admitting to my own little dirty gay fantasies without blushing, heh.
On the coming out front there is nothing really new to report... like I said, my mind's been off these kinds of things for a while, for very urgent and attention-demanding reasons. However, as you may have noticed in the comments, I have given this link to another person other than my bi guru Ren: her name's Autumn, and I know her online for the longest time already. What is it... 4 years? 5 years? I have no clue. She's married with three kids, straight, and with strong morals and values. I have decided to be bold and just link her to here, explaining what I am trying to accomplish with this.
What she said was: "Aw shit, girl. I knew that. Or I kinda figured that, is more like it."
So that went well, heh. And certainly it counts as a step in my planned step-by-step coming out. It's just easier starting with the people who know me, but don't really know me, as is the case with online folk. :)
On the Jo front... well, that's not going so well whatsoever. Or in other words: I have dropped my little fantasies and romantic little dreams about her in a speed proportionally increasing to the chaos around me rising. There is no point to them, really. Now that we are stranded without a car and without money there is no real chance to getting to see her anytime soon anyways. She doesn't do the email thing, and I still don't have her phone number. And I already told ya what I'd do with it, even if I did have it. And she lives quite far away. And she's not interested in me.
But at any rate, she triggered this whole coming-out thing within me, and for that I am grateful, cause it was long time overdue.
