Sunday, October 31, 2004
The Party and how it went
Well, I got to see her again. I even got to be on two pictures beside her... which I now can't stop looking at...
The party wasn't all that, though. And apart from everything else, my whole reason of going was 2 hours late, and from what I gathered from the hostess, she didn't really mean to show up at all. So much for my desperate wishful fantasies of her wanting to see me again and looking forward to this party just as much and fervently as I did. I know it shouldn't have, but that already put a slight (irrationial) muffler on my mood.
Alas, she did show up, dressed up as a Geisha, in a blue dress that made those sapphire blue eyes of hers shine even darker, reducing me to a blabbering fool right on the spot.
Well, maybe not exactly blabbering... in fact, I found myself rather tongue-tied at first, there was nothing left of that spark that kept our last week's conversation going and going and going and going. I felt awkward and clumsy around her, and she didn't seek out my presence the way she seemed to do last week.
I don't know if she remembered my name the way I dreamed about the other night, because the subject never came up, but she did remember that I played the bass, and only for 3 months. I found out that she loves cheddar & sour cream Ruffles just as much as I do, lives in Downtown Long Beach, and that her unusual sounding name is Arabic.
Once she touched me and kinda rubbed my shoulder while giving me one of her beautiful smiles, as if to somehow console me for something I wasn't aware of happening, and I reveled in the touch. Just as I did when I had my arm around her and she had hers around me for a picture (and no, there was nothing to it, the hostess on my other side did the same thing - it was just posing), and when we hugged when she left the party around 2am.
I had the perfect opportunity to ask for her email address when she looked through the pics I took on my digital camera and asked how I was going to print them, but I didn't. I could have offered to send them to her, but I didn't. Why? I have no idea. Not the slightest.
After we snuck the booze into the party (don't ask), we all sat outside on the porch around a table. I ended up next to her. She ended up next to me? Wishful thinking.
By this time I had pretty much given up even trying to get her to myself, and maybe try to make a move. Or drop a hint. Or something. It wasn't at all like it was last week, she wasn't overly interested in me, so I didn't wanna push it. I was just sitting next to her, enjoying being so relatively close to her, looking at her when I thought she wouldn't notice, and drinking more Bacardi than I should have. Which did its own to make me act like a fool, even without forecfully cornering her and proclaiming my undying love for her on my knees. *rolls eyes*
I don't think I was too impressive, after my second double shot. But then, I didn't really try, either. I think I have settled with drooling over her from a safe distance, and looking at her pictures, pretending in my head the way I did as a pimply and overgrown ugly teenager with the popular guys I had crushes on.
Talk came up about something... an Indian style bar maybe... and its grooviness... and about going there next weekend. The Fiancé and I, the hostess with her BF I assume, and Jo. Indian style bars? Or was it a restaurant? Something? Somewhere on Sunset... expensive only from the sound of it... but I grabbed at it desperately as a drowning man would grab at a life saver. A chance of getting to see her again next weekend. After I was too chicken shit to ask her if she wanted to come over tonight and scare little children after she said she had no plans for Halloween. So I really don't care where we're going or why, or how much it'll be... I just wanna be there so I can look at her some more, and bask in her beautiful smile and look at her sapphire blue eyes as much as I can, fueling my childish dreams of holding her in my arms and placing a trace of soft little kisses down that long slender neck of hers...
The party wasn't all that, though. And apart from everything else, my whole reason of going was 2 hours late, and from what I gathered from the hostess, she didn't really mean to show up at all. So much for my desperate wishful fantasies of her wanting to see me again and looking forward to this party just as much and fervently as I did. I know it shouldn't have, but that already put a slight (irrationial) muffler on my mood.
Alas, she did show up, dressed up as a Geisha, in a blue dress that made those sapphire blue eyes of hers shine even darker, reducing me to a blabbering fool right on the spot.
Well, maybe not exactly blabbering... in fact, I found myself rather tongue-tied at first, there was nothing left of that spark that kept our last week's conversation going and going and going and going. I felt awkward and clumsy around her, and she didn't seek out my presence the way she seemed to do last week.
I don't know if she remembered my name the way I dreamed about the other night, because the subject never came up, but she did remember that I played the bass, and only for 3 months. I found out that she loves cheddar & sour cream Ruffles just as much as I do, lives in Downtown Long Beach, and that her unusual sounding name is Arabic.
Once she touched me and kinda rubbed my shoulder while giving me one of her beautiful smiles, as if to somehow console me for something I wasn't aware of happening, and I reveled in the touch. Just as I did when I had my arm around her and she had hers around me for a picture (and no, there was nothing to it, the hostess on my other side did the same thing - it was just posing), and when we hugged when she left the party around 2am.
I had the perfect opportunity to ask for her email address when she looked through the pics I took on my digital camera and asked how I was going to print them, but I didn't. I could have offered to send them to her, but I didn't. Why? I have no idea. Not the slightest.
After we snuck the booze into the party (don't ask), we all sat outside on the porch around a table. I ended up next to her. She ended up next to me? Wishful thinking.
By this time I had pretty much given up even trying to get her to myself, and maybe try to make a move. Or drop a hint. Or something. It wasn't at all like it was last week, she wasn't overly interested in me, so I didn't wanna push it. I was just sitting next to her, enjoying being so relatively close to her, looking at her when I thought she wouldn't notice, and drinking more Bacardi than I should have. Which did its own to make me act like a fool, even without forecfully cornering her and proclaiming my undying love for her on my knees. *rolls eyes*
I don't think I was too impressive, after my second double shot. But then, I didn't really try, either. I think I have settled with drooling over her from a safe distance, and looking at her pictures, pretending in my head the way I did as a pimply and overgrown ugly teenager with the popular guys I had crushes on.
Talk came up about something... an Indian style bar maybe... and its grooviness... and about going there next weekend. The Fiancé and I, the hostess with her BF I assume, and Jo. Indian style bars? Or was it a restaurant? Something? Somewhere on Sunset... expensive only from the sound of it... but I grabbed at it desperately as a drowning man would grab at a life saver. A chance of getting to see her again next weekend. After I was too chicken shit to ask her if she wanted to come over tonight and scare little children after she said she had no plans for Halloween. So I really don't care where we're going or why, or how much it'll be... I just wanna be there so I can look at her some more, and bask in her beautiful smile and look at her sapphire blue eyes as much as I can, fueling my childish dreams of holding her in my arms and placing a trace of soft little kisses down that long slender neck of hers...
